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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram illustrates the Life Cycle process of Salmon. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram illustrates the Life Cycle process of Salmon. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The diagram illustrates the life span of salmon, from caviar to fully grown adults.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the creature
undergo
Change the verb form
undergoes

The plural verb undergo does not appear to agree with the singular subject the creature. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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 several phases of development and migration, starting in freshwater and eventually returning there to reproduce.
Initially
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the process begins when fish lay fertilized eggs in streams. These eggs hatch into alevins, which are nourished by yolk sacs attached to
Correct pronoun usage
their

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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bodies. As alevin
grow
Correct subject-verb agreement
grows

It seems that the verb grow does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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, it transforms into fry, small fish that begin its journey toward seawater.
Next,
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the fry
undergo
Change the verb form
undergoes

The plural verb undergo does not appear to agree with the singular subject the fry. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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 a transformation that prepares them for life in the ocean. They migrate to the sea, adapting to saltwater as smolts.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 transition is crucial as they continue growing and maturing in the ocean. The changes in their bodies enable them to thrive in a completely different habitat.
Finally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, as fully matured adults, the salmon return to freshwater streams to spawn. After laying caviar, they complete their cycle, ensuring the next generation.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 cycle demonstrates the adaptability of these sea creatures as they transition between clean water and saltwater environments, highlighting the complexity of their evolution.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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