IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is better to buy just a few expensive clothes, rather than lots of cheaper clothes. Do you agree or disagree?

#clothes #lots
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The essay discusses
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 if
that is
 better to buy just a few expensive
clothes
, rather than lots of cheaper
clothes
.
Firstly
, it depends on what type of person you are. For someone, it is better when he/she has in the wardrobe a few modern and expensive pieces.
For example
, people are focused on expensive materials and fashion designers like the
brand
Fix the agreement mistake
brands
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Dolce Gabbana, Gucci, Prada and others.
Secondly
, the second group is so happy with the cheap
clothes
, but they must have a lot of
clothes
, hats,
jewelries
Fix the agreement mistake
and jewelry
show examples
. The people
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 a pleasure to visit second-hand shops,
for
example
Add the comma(s)
example,
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 shops with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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part of the price
to
Change preposition
apply
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donated to charities.
Thirdly
, there can be the groups which don´t want to spend a lot of
money
 on
clothes
 if it is not necessary. In my opinion
is
Unnecessary verb
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, that... I love
clothes
, but still is not important how much cost. For me,
that is
 important if the
clothes
 look great on me. I can spend a lot of
money
 on expensive watches and handbags,
jewellery
Correct word choice
and jewellery
show examples
, but still, I want to buy cheap
clothes
 and shoes. In conclusion, with time you can choose what you want, how much
money
 you want to spend, what is the trend, and
fashion
Correct pronoun usage
what fashion
show examples
. For me, it is important to my choice of what I want to spend
money
.
Change preposition
on.
show examples
 I think that people still don´t have a choice in the whole world.
Submitted by andrea.kroupova on

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task achievement
Ensure to address the prompt clearly from the beginning. For example, clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the statement in the introduction.
task achievement
Develop your points with clearer and more detailed explanations. Provide specific examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Focus on organizing your ideas in a more logical structure. Make use of paragraphs effectively to separate different points or arguments.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the connection between your ideas using more transitional phrases and linking words to improve the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has an introduction and a conclusion, which gives it a good structure.
task achievement
The writer has attempted to consider different perspectives on the topic, which adds depth to the discussion.
task achievement
The personal opinion in the essay adds a unique touch and shows the writer's engagement with the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • long-lasting
  • cost-per-wear
  • economical
  • investing
  • ethical manufacturing
  • transparent
  • exclusivity
  • designs
  • mass-produced
  • accessibility
  • budget
  • fast fashion
  • trends
  • maintenance
  • dry cleaning
  • social status
  • psychological implications
What to do next:
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