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Band 6

In some countries, owning a home than renting one is very important for people Why might this be the case? Do you think this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation
It is generally believed that purchasing a home is very important for citizens rather than renting a
house
 in some countries.
However
, in different parts, some
people
 think that renting a
house
 makes them more comfortable. And I actually believe that the merits do outweigh the demerits. On the one side, there are some benefits for some communities for owning a
house
 nowadays.
Furthermore
, for young
people
, they can spend their income each month to buy a
house
 and it is very good for their investment and future.
Then
, they will not worry about a place to live with their wife or husband to raise their children.
However
, choosing a location with a low price is not easy, but they will live in a
house
 with some neighbours permanently.
This
 phenomenon is very substantial for developing children mentally and building their soft skills.
For instance
, children could interact with their friends in the neighbourhood and it will allow them can build their confidence easily. On the flip side, for some societies, it is never easy to earn a lot of money to provide them to purchase a home. And for particularly
people
 who live and work in a big or capital city, the costs of a
house
 sometimes become higher. So, it is very difficult to fix
this
 issue,
then
 for some poor or worker with middle income,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
choose to rent a
house
 whose location is near their office and with a more suitable price.
Furthermore
, they could save their money to purchase other daily kinds of stuff.
Then
, they could save their energy after working hard in the office. In a nutshell, I believe that owning a
house
 will gain some merits rather than renting a
house
 monthly,
however
, to purchase it,
people
 should sacrifice some aspects of their lives.
Submitted by suryawatinovita on

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coherence cohesion
The essay should ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within the paragraph support that main idea.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, include statistics or individual stories that illustrate your points.
task achievement
Clarify your stance more explicitly throughout the essay. Make sure the reader can easily discern whether you view owning a home or renting as the superior option.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction does a good job of outlining the two perspectives on owning versus renting a home, setting up the discussion for your essay.
introduction conclusion present
You have provided a conclusion that nicely summarizes your views and reinstates the main argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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