Successful sport professionals earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified, while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion

The considerably different amounts of salary gained by outstanding sports
players
in comparison with other vital accomplishments pose a controversial debate between individuals who consider
this
difference reasonable and those who claim it is unequal.
Although
high-paid athletes have the potential to entertain people with their performance even when they are off the pitch, financial pressure and low economic conditions all around the world make me stand to the side of those who acclaim it one-sided. Proponents believe famous
players
bring significant attention to the club or country to which they belong.
This
could be beneficial either financially or in advertising, which brings those places in the middle of the fans' attention, resulting in wealthy companies becoming interested in signing a contract with the club or national
team
, which can have tremendous effects on enhancing the sports infrastructure.
For instance
, investing in youth teams to become stronger in future competitions. Not only would it be financially beneficial, but
also
successful athletes could absorb the eyes from everywhere.
This
situation leads to a phase where a
team
becomes globally recognized, and fans from all over the world follow games and the news about the player and the
team
.
This
serves as an
honor
Change the spelling
honour
show examples
for a
team
to be watched by millions of individuals, even if it isn't considered a prideful one. Al Nassr's strategy for Ronaldo's recruitment could be a case in point.
In contrast
, opponents argue that it is not fair to pay top dollar to
players
,
whereas
employees and business owners gain too much lower. Nowadays, many people are struggling to provide fundamental needs for life,
such
as food supply and medicine, and governments, especially in developing countries, are seeking loans to solve these tackles. In
this
situation, it is not logical to raise sports
players
' salaries and put society under enormous pressure because
this
leads to growing violence among dwellers and hinders the country from developing in various aspects.
In other words
, the money spent on professional
players
can be used for humanity's efforts,
for instance
, building schools in deprived areas or constructing factories to decrease the number of unemployed population.
This
could assist society in reaching a higher life expectancy and turn individuals into an effective force for progress. In conclusion, despite the financial and promotional proceeds coming with a top player contract, It is unfair to leave a high expenditure for the transfer or extension of these kinds of athletes
while
lots of humans are residing in situations lower than standards and they just try to meet ends up. I firmly believe that before sharing the expense of unnecessary acts like buying a new top-paid player, we have to consider
this
would have a pernicious effect on the community.
Instead
of
this
, spending money on increasing job opportunities and investing in the preparation of our future
laborers
Change the spelling
labourers
show examples
could be a reasonable alternative.
Submitted by tarokhpourmand6 on

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task achievement
Great job in addressing both views comprehensively! However, consider varying your sentence structure more to enhance readability. Also, ensure every point made explicitly ties back to the essay question for greater coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are strong, but make sure your transitions between ideas within paragraphs are smooth. Additionally, using more cohesive devices could help in linking ideas better. This ensures the reader follows your argument effortlessly.
task achievement
Wonderful job providing specific and relevant examples, such as the mention of Ronaldo's recruitment by Al Nassr. This adds depth and authenticity to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, with an effective introduction and conclusion. This makes it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • exceptional talent
  • dedication
  • entertainment value
  • revenue
  • ticket sales
  • advertisements
  • sponsorships
  • short-lived career
  • physical and mental challenges
  • compensation
  • limited career span
  • health risks
  • financial rewards
  • disproportionate emphasis
  • intellectual contributions
  • social contributions
  • undervaluing
  • societal perception
  • income distribution
  • valuable
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