Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

#people #violence #television #computer #games #effect #society #factors #influence #behaviour

Nowadays there are countless TV channels that can be accessed at a glance. Some of them have graphical figures that might have damaging effects on

people

, especially children.

In addition

, some video games,

also

have these bad consequences. Some argue that they should be restricted.

However

, others disagree with that idea. In

this

essay, I will outline both views.

Firstly

, children are the most influenced proportion of

people

, because they learn so fast.

Hence

, at some points, they might act like those actors in the movie or in computer games.

For instance

, if they watch a superhero movie, they will try to imitate them. Some claim that it is a pivotal state in terms of learning in toddlers and there are some researches that prove

this

fact. These influences might affect the future of society because these children will grow up creating that.

On the other hand

, some

people

believe these effects can be neglected and it does not have any significant influence.

For example

, they have the tendency to watch a crime scene on TV that has occurred in their city

due to

their belief. Apart from the contents, gaining information has been always a proper thing to do, they said. All in all, we can not apply a unique prescription to all

people

. It depends mostly on circumstances

people

may have faced in their lives. I think illustrating violations in TV or computer games will have unexpected effects on future society and parents should address

this

issue with their insightful minds.

Submitted by aneizehbaz on Wed Oct 02 2024

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Task Response

The essay provides a response to the task with some main ideas presented. However, it could benefit from a clearer stance and more development of ideas to demonstrate a complete understanding of the topic.

Task Response

Work on enhancing your ideas with more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay is logically structured, but transitions between ideas could be smoother to improve coherence. Consider using more linking phrases to better connect your ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the discussion well.

Task Response

There is an attempt to explore both sides of the argument, which shows good engagement with the task.

Task Response

The writer acknowledges the complexity of the issue by discussing different perspectives.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

pivotal
desensitize
catalyst
predisposed
harmless outlet
distinguish
controlled environments
empirical research
minimal or no direct correlation
socio-economic status
predisposition

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Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

art and music are considred some of the fundamental elements of all societies, and some suggest that hildren should learn them at school. Do you think art and music still have a place in today;s modern wordl of technology? Should children spend more time learning art and music at school ?

some people think that zooes are cruel and should be close down others, however beleive that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals

Task 1 The pictures below show how tomato ketchup is made. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. discuss both these views and give yourown opinion.