You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: More and more people today are spending large amounts of money on their complexions in order to look younger. Why do people want to look younger?Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words

Spending large amounts of money on complexions to possess a youthful
appearance
is becoming an emerging
trend
of
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among
show examples
people
these days.
Although
this
trend
brings about both benefits and drawbacks effects on human beings, I believe that
this
is a positive
trend
due to
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for
show examples
some reasons. In
this
essay, I
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
give the underlying reasons leading to
this
phenomenon before explaining
further
for
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apply
show examples
its positive influences. There are some significant drivers behind spending their money on the methods that make them stay youthful.
Firstly
, human beings are social creatures who are driven by a desire to leave a positive impression on others.
This
leads to a focus on
appearance
as a way to boost their self-confidence and draw more attention to themselves.
Additionally
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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first impressions are very important, enhancing their
appearance
can open more chances at work,
foster
Correct word choice
and foster
show examples
their connections with others.
Finally
,
people
nowadays are under more pressure to meet beauty standards, which are often shaped by social media platforms, and cultural expectations.
As a result
,
this
pressure can
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
people
strive for an ideal
appearance
. In my opinion,
this
phonomenon
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
offers more benefits than disadvantages
due to
some reasons.
Firstly
, individuals who are satisfied with their
appearance
tend to feel more confident, which can significantly boost their self-esteem.
Moreover
, confidence plays a key role in making strong impressions during interviews and presentations, which can lead to greater job opportunities and career advancement.
Finally
,
this
focus on skincare and self-care can encourage healthy habits, which protects
people
from skin
damaging
Wrong verb form
damage
show examples
. In conclusion, the increasing
trend
of
people
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
large numbers of money to maintain a good-looking
appearance
reflects their
desires
Fix the agreement mistake
desire
show examples
for confidence and self-satisfaction.
This
tendency has positive outcomes
such
as
enhance
Wrong verb form
enhancing
show examples
self-esteem and professional opportunities at
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
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and
create
Wrong verb form
creating
show examples
a beauty standard in society.
Submitted by elsenglish16992 on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples that support your arguments, as this will strengthen your essay and make your points more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly to the next. Consider using linking phrases to enhance cohesion between your ideas.
task achievement
Your essay presents both the reasons why people want to look younger and the potential benefits of this trend, which demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay is structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, adding to the overall coherence.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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