In many countries, the number of people suffering from stress is increasing. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to tackle it?
It is unarguably that a large number of
people
are currently suffering from stress at a promising rate across the globe, some suggested
that financial status can possibly Wrong verb form
suggest
induced
Change the verb form
induce
people
to stress out and the government
should step in to tackle this
alarming trend by providing some policy related with dealing mental health issue. Both factors and possible measures to tackle it will be discussed further
in this
essay.
To begin
with, it seems sensible that there are various possibilities that individuals could anxious
Add a missing verb
be anxious
with
, yet, financial issue is often the case that several Change preposition
about
people
upset the most. This
is possibly
because we currently Replace the adverb
possible
living
in a money-driven world Wrong verb form
live
that
everything costs Correct word choice
where
with
some number Change preposition
apply
that
is why everyone is struggling to make a living. In Correct pronoun usage
which
this
sense, the
struggling to survive in Correct article usage
apply
this
consumerism world for paying
bills Change preposition
to pay
while
make
a living can be stressful. Change the verb form
making
Moreover
, this
is especially worse for low income
groups that Add a hyphen
low-income
they
barely survive physically Correct pronoun usage
apply
while
maintaining mental health.
However
, I personally think that there are several solutions to tackle with
Change preposition
apply
this
problem. Importantly, the government
should hand in their hand to resolved
Change the form of the verb
resolve
this
issue as it is the health problem of their citizens. Promoting campaign
for relaxation or enacting Fix the agreement mistake
campaigns
bill
for relaxing time for Fix the agreement mistake
bills
the
Correct article usage
apply
employee
are some of the examples that the Fix the agreement mistake
employees
government
can do. Norway, for instance
, regulating
break time for relaxation Wrong verb form
regulates
to
their employees. Norwegians agree that they felt much more relaxed with Change preposition
for
this
small break to get rid of the
all Remove the article
apply
worriness
.
In summary, Correct your spelling
worries
worried
although
it is undeniable that causing people
to
stress, I am of the opinion that financial problem is Fix the infinitive
apply
major
factor that induce Add an article
a major
the major
people
to feeling
bad as they trying to make a living and Change the verb form
feel
aligned
with Wrong verb form
align
the
help from the Correct article usage
apply
government
such
as legislate
Replace the word
legislation
bill
or raise the awareness of relaxation can reduce Fix the agreement mistake
bills
this
negative emotion.Submitted by kamonluck1999 on
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task achievement
Please work on clarifying your ideas and expressing them in a more straightforward manner. Certain sections are slightly convoluted and might confuse the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Focus on improving sentence structure and eliminating minor linguistic errors to enhance the clarity of your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
A clear introduction and conclusion are present, which helps in framing the essay well.
task achievement
Your examples, such as the Norwegian policy on break times, add depth and practical context to your arguments.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?