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Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, the role of a mother differs in some ways from the role of a father. Why do you think these differences exist? How might parental roles develop in the future?

#countries #role #mother #father #differences #roles #future
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Parental responsibilities vary from domain to domain. I would argue that
this
 situation is heavily related to the traditional position of
women
 in society.
However
, fathers are expected to take
more
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a more
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 active role in terms of childcare as more female citizens will be working. It is an undeniable fact that cultural heritage defines people's
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
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.
Whereas
 the concept of employed
women
 is totally normal in the western cultures, females are merely responsible for childcare and birth in the eastern cultures. Particularly, in numerous countries in the Middle East,
women
 are prohibited in
worklife
Correct your spelling
work
. In
such
context
Correct article usage
a context
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, mothers are of paramount importance when it comes to taking care of juveniles.
Moreover
, in
such
 regions, there is an enormous communication
issues
Change the noun form
issue
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 between fathers and kids as male works intensely. Scarcely does a child,
for instance
, encounter and play with their dads especially during
in
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apply
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early childhood.
In contrast
, every tradition is condemned to be taken down by time. And here, economic dictations come in.
Due to
 the fact that the world is facing financial struggles, an increasing number of
women
 have been finding
an
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apply
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employment over the
last
 10 years. Nowadays, at least 2 people must earn so as to contribute to
house
Correct article usage
the house
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 economy.
This
 situation has forced men to take part in childcare more than ever. Take Turkey as
example
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an example
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. It was impossible to see a Turkish father taking his kid from the school. They can be even seen
while
 doing house chores, which is very unusual in Turkish culture. In conclusion, in regard to
Correct article usage
the respnsibility
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respnsibility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 of parents, the habits
from
Change preposition
of
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 cultural collective may have determined a massive role for
mother
Correct article usage
the mother
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, yet, financial conditions are expected to make the father more responsible.
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task achievement
Develop the points further with more examples and explanations to fully explore the essay prompt.
coherence cohesion
Organize paragraphs with clear topic sentences to provide a stronger logical flow to your arguments.
task achievement
Try to improve the complexity and accuracy of language for higher clarity and impact.
coherence cohesion
The essay clearly introduces the topic and concludes effectively, summarizing the main points.
task achievement
A precise response to the task with ideas relevant to the prompt, addressing both the reasons for current roles and future changes.
task achievement
The essay uses examples to illustrate points, enhancing comprehension and engagement.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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