Some people think children shiukd do extracurricular activities. Others think they will be under pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some people think that after-class
activities
should be done by children
, while
others believe that this
method will stress
children
. In my opinion, I believe that giving children
extra-curricular
will help in developing Correct your spelling
extracurricular
children
’s character.
On the one hand, some parents think that children
should do extracurricular activities
after school, and I agree. In other words
, by giving children
extra activities
, children
will acquire much knowledge as long as it is not academic. For example
, studies in the US proved that students who attend extra classes
learn much more than students who are studying academically because academic classes
give them stress
so they can not perform well. Hence
, these extra activities
are crucial in order to develop children
’s skills
more efficiently. Furthermore
, attending extra classes
will improve their character and their skills
, such
as,
social Remove the comma
apply
skills
, numeracy, and literacy. This
is because they are going to study new things that will not be studied in schools which are going to be incredibly useful during their journey of life.
On the other hand
, some people say that it will stress
children
, in a way that they will not be able to study anything else at all. One reason is that children
are already overloaded with their homework and tasks that ought to be done, so children
will feel lost in thinking about what to do in their time instead
of studying. For instance
, many schools in Japan refuse to give children
extra classes
because children
have the right to enjoy their childhood but surprisingly they found out that children
who do not have extra-curricular activities
perform better in their academic studies. Therefore
, children
should not be given extra activities
owing to the fact that they take their freedom and stress
them at the same time.
To sum up
, although
people may vary in their opinion, I think that extra-curricular activities
help children
gain knowledge and improve their skills
.Submitted by s_syedy on
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task achievement
Try to balance both sides of the argument equally. The essay leans slightly more toward the benefits of extracurricular activities.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph flows logically, using clear connectors or transition words between arguments and examples.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to varying your sentence structure to maintain reader interest and clarity.
task achievement
The essay provides clear arguments for both sides, demonstrating a strong understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly outlines the writer's viewpoint and sets up the discussion nicely.
task achievement
Good use of specific examples to support arguments, like the studies in the US and Japan.