Some people think that in modern society individuals are becoming more dependent on each other. Others believe people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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There is an ongoing debate surrounding the level of linkage versus independence in modern society.
This
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essay will explain both perspectives but
then
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argue that we have become more dependent on one other. Proponents of the growing independence argue that technological advancements, economic opportunities, and personal freedom empower individuals to pursue their goals and assert their independence. Digital technologies enable people to access information, services, and opportunities independently, reducing reliance on traditional institutions and intermediaries.
moreover
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, economic globalization and flexible work arrangements provide individuals with greater control over their careers and lifestyles.
As a result
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, people are less beholden to external influences and more capable of making autonomous decisions that align with their preferences and values
nevertheless
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, I firmly take the view that modern society is characterized by growing interconnectedness and
interrelationship
Fix the agreement mistake
interrelationships
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among humans, communities, and nations.
This
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is driven by numerous factors, including technological developments, economic interdependence, and globalization.
In addition
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, in an interconnected world, people depend on each other for goods, services, support, and information, meaning that it would be extremely difficult for them to survive if they excluded themselves from their community.
for example
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, our modern world is facing complex societal challenges and issues
such
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as pandemics, climate change, and economic crises, all of which require collective action and cooperation to address effectively. In conclusion, it is undeniable that modern technological advances have allowed
persons
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people
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to exert a certain level of freedom over their lives. Despite
this
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, I hold the belief that there are social, economic, and technological factors which have intensified interconnectedness and interdependence on a global scale.
Submitted by tahsin.adam3 on

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Task Achievement
Make sure to include more specific examples to support your arguments. This will help strengthen your position and make your essay more persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Be mindful of minor errors and consistency in punctuation and grammar to enhance readability.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures and vocabulary to enrich your essay's style and effectiveness.
Coherence and Cohesion
Excellent introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Good logical structure, with clear progression of ideas.
Task Achievement
Well-developed and complete response to the task, providing a clear opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • interdependence
  • globalized economy
  • collaborative work environments
  • crowd-sourced
  • empowered
  • perception
  • availability
  • autonomy
  • reliance
  • shifted
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