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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The map below shows the development of the museum between 2010 and 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The map below shows the development of the museum between 2010 and 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#development #museum #information #features #comparisons
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The map illustrates the changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the museum between 2010 and 2013.
Overall
, the museum lost its garden and started to serve various needs by more facilities being added and some being extended in their space. Starting with the the map of 2010, the space for mammals was located next to the Ocean
hall
Capitalize word
Hall
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while
 a dinosaurs
section
 was placed below it. There was a ticket desk, which was located on the left side of the lobby. Beside the building, there was a garden with four groups of trees were planted. Turning to the map of 2013 after the construction, there was a
majoy
Correct your spelling
major
 change since all trees in the garden were removed to make room for other facilities.
Furtheremore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, a mammals'
section
 moved to the other side of the hall, which contained new zones
such
 as a human
ongins
Correct your spelling
ongoing
origins
 display and cafe on its right. The latter was placed in the bottom corner of the building, next to which was a shop.
Although
 each
section
 was isolated by
wall
Correct article usage
a wall
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, mammals and a shop existed in the same room. Another important feature is that a new
section
 for the ice age was added on the left side of the museum with a small area for insects
on
Change preposition
in
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 its bottom right corner. The place of dinosaurs, the hall and
lobby
Correct article usage
the lobby
show examples
 remained the same as in 2010.
Submitted by mizuho on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words section with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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