Some people think that schools are too competitive and that this has a nagetive impcat on chidren . Others believe environment encourages children to achieve .

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Recently, many
people
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enjoy with competitive. Some
People
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think that
school
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competitive are negatively for
children
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. whill, others think that helps childeren to encourages in environment achieve . in
this
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essay, I will examine my Prspectives and present presonal opinion.
On the other hand
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, Some individuals think that encourage
Children
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to competitive is essential think .
To begin
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with, enhance Creative thinking in
life
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.
This
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Skills is benficial in
life
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and contribute increas the
level
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of knowledge for student.
For
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instance
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: They can progress writing through creative writing.
Secondly
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,
life
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experenss. many
children
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may have experenss in
life
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therefore
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will increas
Level
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Knowledege.
For example
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: in
Children
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in future will have more experiens experience in
life
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work.
In addition
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, progress in education
level
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. Students who encourages in competitive whill improve Learing
level
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.
For
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instance
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: Competitve make student have Knowledge and achieve gole. Conversly, other
people
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think that
school
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Competitive is a a negative impact on students.
Firstly
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, It may provide on learning. Some spupil can not focus on difirint sied.
For
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instance
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: Student can only atintion on Study Sied anly no more.
Secondly
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, tack care on
school
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is essential than Competitve. Peanuts think that focus on Studies help to achieve goles than activites.
For example
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: Study at priviet
school
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is more benficial to arrive dreams. Finaly, competitive
school
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only for less
time
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different
people
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believe the
school
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activites only for spending
time
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.
For
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instance
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: for Pupil have
time
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and they want to focus on Study. In conclusion, based on the points manchiend, Some individuals believe that
school
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competitive only for spending
time
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whill, others like me believe that
school
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activites is essential for
Children
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in deiffrent Saied in
life
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.
Submitted by almay on

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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the structure of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your arguments flow logically from one to the next.
task achievement
Make sure your response fully addresses all parts of the question. Provide a balanced view if the topic presents two sides.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing.
task achievement
You appropriately included both perspectives regarding the competitive nature of schools.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction and a conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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