Some people think that schools are too competitive and that this has a nagetive impcat on chidren . Others believe environment encourages children to achieve .

Recently, many
people
enjoy with competitive. Some
People
think that
school
competitive are negatively for
children
. whill, others think that helps childeren to encourages in environment achieve . in
this
essay, I will examine my Prspectives and present presonal opinion.
On the other hand
, Some individuals think that encourage
Children
to competitive is essential think .
To begin
with, enhance Creative thinking in
life
.
This
Skills is benficial in
life
and contribute increas the
level
of knowledge for student.
For
instance
: They can progress writing through creative writing.
Secondly
,
life
experenss. many
children
may have experenss in
life
therefore
will increas
Level
Knowledege.
For example
: in
Children
in future will have more experiens experience in
life
work.
In addition
, progress in education
level
. Students who encourages in competitive whill improve Learing
level
.
For
instance
: Competitve make student have Knowledge and achieve gole. Conversly, other
people
think that
school
Competitive is a a negative impact on students.
Firstly
, It may provide on learning. Some spupil can not focus on difirint sied.
For
instance
: Student can only atintion on Study Sied anly no more.
Secondly
, tack care on
school
is essential than Competitve. Peanuts think that focus on Studies help to achieve goles than activites.
For example
: Study at priviet
school
is more benficial to arrive dreams. Finaly, competitive
school
only for less
time
different
people
believe the
school
activites only for spending
time
.
For
instance
: for Pupil have
time
and they want to focus on Study. In conclusion, based on the points manchiend, Some individuals believe that
school
competitive only for spending
time
whill, others like me believe that
school
activites is essential for
Children
in deiffrent Saied in
life
.
Submitted by almay on

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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the structure of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your arguments flow logically from one to the next.
task achievement
Make sure your response fully addresses all parts of the question. Provide a balanced view if the topic presents two sides.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing.
task achievement
You appropriately included both perspectives regarding the competitive nature of schools.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction and a conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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