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Band 7.5

Some people think young people should be free to choose their job, while others believe that they should be realistic and think about their future. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #job #future
Some will argue that youngsters should be allowed to choose their future professions,
while
 others think that they have to choose a more profitable job for themselves to have a better future.
However
, even if some jobs may be very well-paid and actual for that time, I believe that people should only choose a
profession
 that they like and want to be masters in. On the one hand, choosing a
profession
,
that is
 forecasted to be very perspective in the near future, is absolutely one of the best options. The main reason for
this
 is that technologies are being developed from year to year, so world trends are changing.
That is
 why it is very important to choose a
profession
 that humanity needs.
For instance
, those who studied computer engineering 10 years ago, today can work in a very wide range of rich companies and shouldn't worry about finances.
However
, I think that it doesn't make sense to choose
such
 a work If you aren't honestly interested in it.
On the other hand
, young people should choose a
profession
 where they can find their passion without worrying about money. With the development of the modern economy, the problems of food and health were listed as the second priorities and human can spend more time on their hobbies. Adding all of
this
, a teenager can choose any field of job. Because it will always bring an income, which is enough for basic living necessities. In conclusion, even if youngsters should choose a job
that is
 necessary for society, I believe, that their own passion has to be the first priority.
Submitted by bizhanalikhan6 on

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task achievement
Try to develop each argument more comprehensively. Provide more detailed examples to illustrate your points clearly.
coherence cohesion
Work on providing more detailed transitions between your paragraphs or points to enhance fluency and coherence.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states both sides of the argument and presents a clear thesis statement.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay, restating the writer's viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph discusses a clear main idea, contributing to logical structuring.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • career trajectory
  • job satisfaction
  • employment prospects
  • financial stability
  • job security
  • economically viable
  • harnessing potential
  • labor market
  • vocational guidance
  • real-world demands
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