Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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In modern society, with the rise of processed foods and beverages,
people
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excessively consume unhealthy food
that is
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high in sugar, leading to a wide range of
health
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issues.
Therefore
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, some argue that related organizations should increase the cost of sugary
products
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to discourage individuals from consuming them too much. From my perspective, I agree with
this
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viewpoint. The main advantage of raising the product price is that
people
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may consider more carefully whether these foods are necessary, as buying them requires spending more money. It indeed influences
people
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’s behaviour, decreasing the desire to purchase sugary
products
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and encouraging them to opt for healthier alternatives, thereby contributing to the decline of
health
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issues and enhancing their
overall
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health
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and well-being.
Moreover
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, from a social standpoint, higher prices for sugary
products
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can lead to significant benefits.
For example
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, as
people
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reduce their consumption of sugary items, there is a decline in the rates of chronic diseases
such
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as heart disease, diabetes, and high cholesterol.
This
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reduction can help healthcare systems save costs in the long term and reduce healthcare expenditures over time.
However
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, it is undeniable that increasing the price of these
products
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poses some concerning issues. Most of these items are affordable and convenient for lower-income individuals and families, which means
this
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approach will leave them with fewer options to buy the food they want.
Nevertheless
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, the government can offer subsidies for
people
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who wish to purchase healthier food, which not only mitigates
this
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issue but
also
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improves
overall
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health
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In conclusion,
while
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raising the price of the product will cause some negative concerns for some, it still leads to numerous positive effects on individuals.
Therefore
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, I believe that
this
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approach can efficiently improve
people
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’s
health
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, promote healthier dietary habits, and diminish the risk of disease.
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task achievement
Consider expanding more on the negative points to present a balanced view, thereby strengthening your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the smooth transition between paragraphs to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion, making it easier to follow your arguments.
task achievement
You provided relevant and specific examples that support your arguments clearly and comprehensibly.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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