IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think that countries should limit the amount of food that they import and mainly eat products from their own country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some argue that people should eat more local
food
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 and governments should restrict the amount of imported
food
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. I generally agree with
this
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 idea
due to
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 possible international conflicts and economic effects, but there are some drawbacks as well including high costs of some
items
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. First and foremost, relying on trading threatens the stability of dietary life. More specifically, nobody can precisely predict a future conflict with other countries
such
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 as wars, which can lead to stopping trading completely. If some important ingredients are dependent on these countries, their scarcity would be a serious issue that endangers our daily lives. Recently, China was against Japan's attitude about releasing water from nuclear power stations and stopped importing any seafood.
This
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 affected a number of restaurants in China and they have to find alternatives.
Therefore
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, countries should not rely on any important products from foreign nations.
Moreover
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, by developing the national primary industry including farming and fishing, the economy of the country is expected to be stimulated and improve the quality of life. As fewer overseas competitors exist
due to
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this
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 remedy, more products produced within the country would be purchased, so producers would earn greater income.
Consequently
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, more
items
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 are produced in better quality and the economy as a whole is stimulated.
However
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, there are disadvantages to
this
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 solution.
For instance
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, there are some
items
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 that can be made at a high cost only.
For example
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, flour is one of the fundamental ingredients as it is used for various foods
such
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 as cakes and bread.
On the other hand
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, it requires a vast farmland and
thus
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 it is difficult to make it in Japan.
Hence
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, flour produced in Japan tends to be much more expensive than foreign ones like the one from the US.
This
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 leads to more
food
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 expenses and a worse lifestyle. In conclusion,
although
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 some
items
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 can be produced at a high cost, the
overall
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 benefits outweigh its drawbacks because of the
food
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 security and the economic effect.

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task achievement
While your ideas are well-supported, consider providing more varied examples to illustrate your points further and enhance the depth of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Strive for smoother transitions between paragraphs to ensure that the progression of ideas feels more natural.
task achievement
The essay provides a strong and clear response to the prompt, addressing both benefits and drawbacks of the issue.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples are used to support the main points, such as the situation between China and Japan, which strengthens the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay follows a logical structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, making it easy to follow.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • domestically produced food
  • agricultural sector
  • carbon footprint
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • food security
  • global market fluctuations
  • trade disputes
  • local food production
  • dietary variety
  • international trade relations
  • retaliation
  • exports
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