IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #money #future
It is believed by some that there is a profound significance of saving
money
 for future prospects for each individual. I firmly disagree with
this
 opinion, and outline reasons below.  Nowadays,
money
 is the main tool in terms of exchanging goods and
overall
 well-being in our interconnected society. First of all, if
money
 is saved by people, it can be used to purchase personal needs,
such
 as cars, houses, and even books.
Secondly
, having a sufficient amount of
money
 can stimulate personal growth, maintain a balanced lifestyle, and support dealing with world affairs without physical difficulties.  I,
however
, consider that it is useless to save
money
 in
this
 developing world
due to
 some plausible reasons.
Initially
, the level of inflation is increasing rapidly, leading it to lose its value quickly over a period of time.
For example
, hyperinflation is the main reason for the economic downturn in Argentina.
Moreover
, saving
money
 for future plans requires consistency, hard work, and continuous efforts, which all lead to physical and mental exhaustion.
In other words
, the impact of health-related issues begins to rise after
such
 exertions, causing possible death and handicap. Ultimately, learning how to make
money
 is more beneficial than saving.
To conclude
,
although
 putting
money
 in a safe create opportunities to meet personal needs and live a better life, inflation and tiredness do not give a way to do that anymore.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task response
The introduction is clear, but could be improved by briefly outlining the points that will be discussed in the body paragraphs.
task response
It's great that both sides of the argument are considered. However, some points could be expanded with more detailed examples or evidence.
coherence
Ensure that each paragraph clearly aligns with the introduction's summary of main points. This will improve overall coherence.
cohesion
To enhance cohesion, use a wider range of linking words and phrases to show the relationship between ideas within paragraphs.
structure
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
logical reasoning
The argument is well-balanced, presenting both sides of the issue.
language
The language is generally clear and appropriate for the topic, making the essay easy to read.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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