You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: It can be difficult for small local shops to compete with large supermarkets and with on-line shops. How does this affect local communities? What could be done to improve this situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

Nowadays, it is hard for small local
shops
to get any market attention compared to the large supermarkets and online
shops
. As
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
, local communities will be badly affected by
this
situation, but ways to overcome
this
issue were made to resolve
this
.
Firstly
, in terms of its financial condition, they have hardly gained any extra profit from its low sales.
In other words
, local
shops
are struggling to expand their brand to the international market since they have limited costs.
Therefore
, more customers will support international
products
that are provided by supermarkets and online
shops
. The other negative effect is that more local
shops
will struggle to provide enough money to pay for rent and for workers as they gain less income from their sales.
This
will lead to an increasing rate of the need for help from the government to support their business. Apart from that, production of their
products
will be disturbed which will lead to the overshadowing of their brands by the fame of other international brands in the country. One of the ways for the small local
shops
to hit their target revenue is they advertise their
products
in various ways in order to expose the
products
to the citizens.
For instance
, they can make an advertisement on the billboard or conquer people's attention by posting an advertisement through social media apps. From
this
, more people will value the quality of the local
products
after getting enough exposure to the local brands. Another way is that the small local
shops
should try their best to create a creative solution for their marketing strategies.
For example
, renting a slot at a big supermarket to put the local
products
could
also
get a lot of attention from the customers at the supermarket. In conclusion, local communities are hardly growing because of the limited source of income because of the lack of exposure to customers on their local
products
.
Therefore
, marketing strategies are what they need to consider in order to reach high market sales.
Submitted by alisyashazzy on

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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on how local communities are affected beyond financial aspects. For instance, discuss social and cultural impacts to provide a more comprehensive response.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are overly complex, making them harder to follow. Consider breaking them into simpler sentences to improve clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. For example, use linking words to show the progression of your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
It addresses the key issues affecting small shops and proposes relevant solutions, covering the task requirement comprehensively.
task achievement
You've effectively used examples to support your main arguments, which adds credibility to your suggestions.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • competition
  • independent retailers
  • consumer behavior
  • economic impact
  • convenience
  • diversify
  • employment opportunities
  • sustainability
  • revitalize
  • utilize
  • advocate
  • establish
  • incentives
  • loyalty programs
  • local economy
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