IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays there is a trend of rapid increase in already excessive use of natural resources such as oil, forest and freshwater. What dangers does it bring? what are the possible solutions to address these issues?

#trend #resources #oil #forest #dangers #address
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Natural
resources
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as oil, forest and freshwater have a positive impact on human lives which are recently threatened. The escalating consumption of natural
resources
Use synonyms
 has raised significant concerns regarding environmental sustainability.
This
Linking Words
 essay will highlight the detrimental impacts of using excess natural
resources
Use synonyms
 and feasible solutions to solve them. On the one hand, if people continuously use natural
resources
Use synonyms
 and do not try to figure out alternative methods, natural
resources
Use synonyms
 will run out.
First,
Linking Words
when almost all trees are cut down, carbon dioxide in the atmosphere is released from vehicles and factories will no longer have space to be absorbed.
As a result
Linking Words
,
It
Rephrase
it
show examples
thus
Linking Words
 presents a risk of pollution to the entire planet.
Besides
Linking Words
, toxic liquid is pumped by factories into the river without handling, bringing negative impacts on creatures.
Consequently
Linking Words
, many red-list creatures might suffer from the chemical environment.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, we still can cope with these problems with the support of governments and the awareness of citizens. As a matter of fact, people do not obey the law because authorities lack the ability to punish strictly and enact appropriate policies.
This
Linking Words
 can be evidenced by the case of African rhinos being hunted despite the government promulgating protected policies.
Consequently
Linking Words
, policymakers should consider enacting and punishing these lawbreakers more strictly.
Second,
Linking Words
raising awareness about the negative influence of over-exploitation of natural
resources
Use synonyms
 is necessary for the survival of species
as well as
Linking Words
 for human livelihoods. In conclusion, natural
resources
Use synonyms
 have a vital role in the Earth, we should build up a green community. Over-exploitation meets the shortage of natural
resources
Use synonyms
 and negatively affects the Earth's creatures,
also
Linking Words
 human health. People should be aware of protecting natural environments and restoring degraded ecosystems.
Submitted by okookk123456 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try using more varied linking words and phrases to make connections between ideas smoother and more varied.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention specific initiatives or case studies regarding conservation efforts or alternative methods.
coherence cohesion
The essay follows a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the dangers and the solutions regarding the overuse of natural resources.
task achievement
The essay successfully raises awareness about the environmental impacts and the importance of government intervention.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: