IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below give information about the amount of beer and fruit juice consumed per person per year in different countries. write at least 150 words.

The table below give information about the amount of beer and fruit juice consumed per person per year in different countries. write at least 150 words.
#information #amount #beer #fruit #juice #person #year #countries
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The
table
Use synonyms
 shows information about how many numbers of
Use synonyms
beer
Fix the agreement mistake
beers
show examples
 and fruit
juice
Use synonyms
uses
Wrong verb form
are used
show examples
many
Change preposition
by many
show examples
 people during
whole
Add an article
the whole
show examples
 year who
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
lives
Change the verb form
live
show examples
 in many countries.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
table
Use synonyms
 illustrates two tables every one
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 ten countries
moreover
Linking Words
 each country how many
consuming
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
quantities of
beer
Use synonyms
 and
juice
Use synonyms
 . First of all , the number of
beer
Use synonyms
 was the highest amount
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Ireland
that was
Verb problem
which
show examples
uses
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 155
litres
Use synonyms
in contrast
Linking Words
 the lowest point
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 fruit
juice
Use synonyms
 was in New Zealand it was 24.8
litres
Use synonyms
however
Linking Words
 in the
beer
Use synonyms
 as
it is clear
Linking Words
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
from the
table
Use synonyms
 the tree top they consumed more than 100
litres
Use synonyms
likewise
Linking Words
 Belgium
in addition
Linking Words
 Denmark they have the same quantity it was 98
litres
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 United Kingdom was under 98
LItres
Use synonyms
 in the different side the bottom
table
Use synonyms
 of
beer
Use synonyms
 they uses just under 90
litres
Use synonyms
 .
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the higher amount of fruit
juice
Use synonyms
 was above half
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
a litres
show examples
litres
Fix the agreement mistake
litre
show examples
while
Linking Words
 Germany , Australia, Sweden and Austria
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have similar quantities it was under 40
litres
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by sialamer on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words table, beer, juice, litres with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: