Some people rely too much on doctors instead of taking care of their own health. they think all health problems can just be fixed by visiting doctors. What problems could this approach to healthcare cause and how might they be solved?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays, healthcare is one of the most essential things in the world. Some people believe that their health depends on suggestions from doctors, so they do not keep their good physical condition by themselves.

Although

Linking Words

there are several problems, there will be a variety of possible solutions to overcome them. The first aspect to identify is that the cost of health will increase if society only depends on the doctor. In fact, medical costs in some countries are exceedingly high and all poor communities do not have access to adequate treatment even if they need it.

consequently

Linking Words

, the number of deaths will grow in some countries. Another important issue is that if all patients who have mild illnesses are hospitalized

due to

Linking Words

a lack of independent care at home,

therefore

Linking Words

the availability of hospital beds for nations who need fast immediate care will decrease. Those phenomena could have a small group of negative impacts on association in terms of equality of opportunities and medical care. even though these two problems may be unavoidable, there are various solutions for them.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the civilizations need to be educated on how to maintain their good physical condition day-to-day.

For example

Linking Words

, TV shows have an enormous impact because everyone watches them in the house. If there are a number of educational programs related to well-being and physical fitness, an individual would learn how to change the daily habit of eating to keep away from the problem of healthiness.

Secondly

Linking Words

, the government must give an opportunity to humanity to increase their welfare at local facilities.

For instance

Linking Words

, in Japan, there are a few educational meetings at local facilities given to the public on how to avoid obesity or how to maintain good conditions during pregnancy. In conclusion, there are several problems in society if people are very dependent on doctors regarding the cost of treatment and the availability of beds in hospitals, but several solutions to overcome

this

Linking Words

negative trend. If the government tries to educate the public about the importance of maintaining physical health,

then

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

problem will be resolved.

misstiasclassroomSun Oct 15 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Language Use

Ensure consistency in tense usage to maintain clarity throughout your essay.

Language Use

Consider varying your sentence structures to improve the readability and flow of your essay.

Content Development

To make your examples more impactful, ensure they are detailed and directly tied to the points being made.

Accuracy

Review and correct minor grammatical errors and typos to enhance the professionalism of your writing.

Content Insight

You effectively identified the key issues associated with excessive reliance on doctors for healthcare.

Structure

Your essay demonstrates a strong structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Critical Thinking

Proposing specific solutions, such as educational TV shows and government initiatives, showcases your ability to think critically about the topics.

Example Use

The use of examples, such as the situation in Japan, enriches your argument by providing real-world context.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

346 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Dependency
Personal responsibility
Healthcare
Doctors
Over-reliance
Delayed diagnoses
Missed diagnoses
Excessive reliance
Medical procedures
Healthcare costs
Proactive steps
Education
Awareness programs
Primary healthcare services
Preventive healthcare
Chronic conditions
Collaborating
Personalized health plans
Self-care

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantanges outweigh the disadvamtages
In the current Era, many human around the world consume social media as a routine to connecting with others people and obtain news events. In this essay I will elaborate the pro and cons of social media.
5
band
Some people believe that exploring outer space is important because it expands human knowledge and might lead to discoveries that will benefit humanity in the future. Other people believe that space exploration is a waste of money that could be better spent solving immediate problems here on Earth.
It is said that nowadays people from different countries can buy the same products anywhere in the world and that leads to a strong level of similarity across the countries. I think the effect of this development of the society is more positive than negative.
<4
band
Some people think that companies and private individuals should pay to clean up the pollution that they produce, not the government. To what extent do you agree?
Some people believe that individuals and private companies should pay to clean the pollution they produce, and the government should not take the responsibility it. I personally believe that every individual and private companies should take the responsibility of the pollution of their own because it will be a huge pressure for the government, and it is not the government's responsibility.
4
band
It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
The advantage of knowing what is the right thing and the bad thing at early age is good for your kids. Because the will know what is the best and not the best to what to do to everyone. Why kids have to teach from early age between the right and the wrong. Because they would be easier to make decision that its right or wrong in the future time. When they what is right and wrong they would help other what is the different between right and wrong. About punishment i still agree but don't make the punishment to harsh for them because they are still a kids and still need much to learn about what is right and wrong. But every family have there owned way to punish there kids. Example when there kids do something wrong or say a bad word there punishment would be the cannot play there phone for 1 day, they cannot play with there friend for 1 days, and didn't get there favorite treats or food for a 1 day. But theres also the parent wouldn't punish them but they teach there kids what is right...
5
band
Some people think that global environment problems shold be dralt with internationally. Others, however, believe that they have to be tackled domestically. What is your opinion?
Some believe that environmental issues should be solved on an international level, while others argue everyone should be responsible for protecting the environment individually. In my opinion, both aforementioned statements are equally crucial to preserve our globe from various ecological problems that currently exist.

Some people rely too much on doctors instead of taking care of their own health. they think all health problems can just be fixed by visiting doctors. What problems could this approach to healthcare cause and how might they be solved?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantanges outweigh the disadvamtages

Some people believe that exploring outer space is important because it expands human knowledge and might lead to discoveries that will benefit humanity in the future. Other people believe that space exploration is a waste of money that could be better spent solving immediate problems here on Earth.

Some people think that companies and private individuals should pay to clean up the pollution that they produce, not the government. To what extent do you agree?

Some people think that global environment problems shold be dralt with internationally. Others, however, believe that they have to be tackled domestically. What is your opinion?