In some cities, public parks and open spaces are changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do you think the benefits outweigh the disadvantages?

In recent years, in several urban areas around the world, public parks
are being
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
turned into
gardens
where
people
in the neighbourhood can plant their desired kinds of greens and fruits. From my perspective, I am convinced that
this
is a positive trend and its advantages surpass its downsides. To commence with, it is undeniable that having agricultural sites in big cities brings about some inconvenience. The most significant drawback is that the
overall
appearance of the city, which is considered a modern and spotless place, will be spoiled as gardening activities are quite dirty.
For example
, there will be dirt and mud on the street as
people
enter and leave the
gardens
or harvest their vegetables.
Additionally
, vegetables do not provide the tranquillity and calm atmosphere that parks with a variety of trees have.
However
, I strongly believe that
this
development has more beneficial aspects than disadvantageous ones. The primary advantage is that
this
supplies citizens
a
Change preposition
with a
show examples
clean and sustainable source of vegetables, which makes a huge contribution to their healthy lifestyle,
as well as
benefits them economically. Not only can city dwellers enjoy organic food
that is
good for their well-being, but they can
also
set aside a great amount of money since purchasing greens from the market is not necessary anymore.
In addition
, the fact that
people
can grow plants in
gardens
in the middle of urban areas can support them mentally and hinder mental illnesses
such
as depression. Given that gardening is a calm and relaxing activity,
people
can either decompress
and
Correct word choice
or
show examples
find a new hobby when doing
this
. All of which reduce the risk of being burnt out and depressed. In conclusion, it is true that replacing public parks with
gardens
renders
Verb problem
has
show examples
some disadvantages.
Nonetheless
, I am of the opinion that the benefits of
this
trend eclipse its negative sides, in terms of health improvements and money-saving.
Submitted by hathuylinh1806 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While the essay addresses the topic well and provides a balanced view, it could benefit from more specific examples to illustrate the points made. Specific examples from existing urban gardening projects could strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider connecting the points more smoothly between paragraphs. Clear transitions can help create a more fluid reading experience.
task achievement
Expanding on how urban gardening directly contributes to mental health can provide more depth to your argument. Additionally, providing statistical data or studies related to the economic benefits of homegrown vegetables can be impactful.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured and clearly present the main argument.
task achievement
The essay is engaging and presents both sides of the argument, showing a strong command of the topic.
task achievement
The idea of linking urban gardening to mental health benefits is compelling and adds a unique angle to the discussion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urban Agriculture
  • Community Engagement
  • Social Interaction
  • Physical Exercise
  • Mental Relaxation
  • Fresh Produce
  • Sustainability
  • Biodiversity
  • Carbon Footprint
  • Air Quality
  • Educational Opportunities
  • Horticulture
  • Teamwork
  • Sustainable Living
  • Food Security
  • Locally-grown
  • Nutritious
  • Neighborhood Bonds
  • Urban Sustainability
What to do next:
Look at other essays: