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Writing Samples
Band 8

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages ?

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It is debatable nowadays whether we have to take risks for the sake of our careers and private lives. Definitely, taking risks has its own merits and drawbacks.
This
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 essay will put forward the reason why risk-taking will bring more benefits than shortcomings. Some people might definitely be afraid of failure as they cannot foresee what will happen in the future.
However
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, we, as humans, have the capacity to plan or predict what will we get from doing something.
This
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 can minimize the possibility of failing. Even if you fail, you will learn something to improve yourself.
That is
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 why it's always worth trying.
For instance
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, if you want to study abroad, you need to check the requirements and prepare everything before submitting your documents. Even though, the results will be either you pass or fail, at least you know the process and you can try again with better preparation. If you succeed
then
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 you would have professional and personal growth.
In addition
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, it is human nature to make trials and errors.
Furthermore
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, most of us generally work with undesirable peers which sometimes makes us demotivated. The idea of taking risks is likely the best way to escape
this
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 unsatisfied condition.
For example
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,
last
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 year my friend decided to quit his job and apply for another company even if his salary was low pay compared to his previous one. Even so, he got exposed to numerous experiences that he had never got from the previous
such
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 as meeting government officials and taking projects which can enhance his skills. 
Additionally
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, the more opportunities you take, the more you will get exposure to immense networks as you will be meeting people within your desirable circumstances, which is great to boost your development of profession and individual. In conclusion, even though risk-taking has its own disadvantages, its advantages will bring more growth to professional and personal lives as mentioned above.

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coherence cohesion
While your essay generally maintains a logical flow, consider using more transition words and phrases to ensure smoother connections between ideas or paragraphs.
task achievement
Make sure to specifically address both the personal and professional aspect in more detail throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, maintaining a strong structure throughout.
task achievement
The examples you provided are relevant and illustrate your points well, adding depth to your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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