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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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A few animal species already become non-existent, whilst others are becoming endangered as well.
This
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 is predominantly because of human activities like hunting and deforestation. In order to preserve
animals
Use synonyms
 the
government
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 should enforce laws, strictly prohibiting these practices. The major reason for extinction is human beings, as since ancient times hunting has been a popular hobby in many regions around the world and recently deforestation has forced
animals
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 to leave their natural habitat.
For example
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, during the construction of new buildings in a town, forests are cut down brutally.
Due to
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 urbanization and
growing
Correct article usage
a growing
show examples
 population, more space is required to accommodate individuals.
Therefore
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,
animals
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 lose their shelter to accommodate the growing population. A possible solution to
this
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 problem is the implementation of strict rules and regulations by the
government
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 to slow down the rate of extinction and enforce prevention measures to protect
animals
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.
For instance
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, in Sundarbans, which is home to tigers in India, the
government
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 has recently installed security systems to restrict entry and ban hunting practices in the jungle.
This
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 has led to a significant reduction in the number of
animals
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 hunting for food and fun.
Thus
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, prohibition laws are required to safeguard endangered species on the earth.
To conclude
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, some species of
animals
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 like dinosaurs became extinct; in the near future we are going to see more
such
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 categories .
This
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 is
due to
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 human interests and malpractices.
Consequently
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, to resolve
this
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 issue, the
government
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 should restrict human activities by imposing fines and serious punishments on people who violate the laws.

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task achievement
Consider expanding on the reasons behind human activities leading to extinction, such as economic benefits or cultural significance, to provide more depth.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by using more linking words or phrases to better connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion on animal extinction and conservation measures.
task achievement
You have identified key human activities—hunting and deforestation—that contribute to animal extinction, providing relevant examples like deforestation during urbanization.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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