During a recent plane journey, you sat next to a businessman who owns a chain of restaurants. You talk to him and he suggested that you should contact him about a possible job in one of his restaurants. Write a letter to this businessman. In your letter • remind him when and where you met • tell him what kind of job you’re interested in • say why you think you would be suitable for the job

#plane #journey #businessman #chain #restaurants #contact #job #you’re

Dear Mr. Davidson, I hope

this

letter finds you well. I am writing to follow up on the conversation we had during our recent plane journey. I was seated next to you on Flight number AA777 on January 10th, and we had a chance to discuss your chain of restaurants. You suggested that I should contact you about a potential role in one of your establishments. I am writing to express my interest in the role of a Sous chef within your organization.

Furthermore

. I am particularly keen on the branch in Dubai, as

that is

where I am currently based. I believe that my skills and experience make me a suitable candidate. I have more than 5 years of experience as a chef in different restaurants, with a strong background in Mediterranean and Middle Eastern cuisine.

Moreover

, I am knowledgeable in kitchen management and have experience in creating new menus and dishes

as well as

familiarity with food safety regulations. I would like to thank you for your time and consideration, and I am looking forward to hearing from you soon. Yours sincerely, Fraser Wilson

Submitted by amandacflago23 on Thu Mar 21 2024

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Task Achievement

For further improvement in task achievement, ensure every aspect of the prompt is covered exhaustively. While your letter does well in addressing the main points, providing more detailed examples of your achievements or elaborating on why you are particularly drawn to the Dubai branch could add depth.

Coherence & Cohesion

In terms of coherence and cohesion, your letter is well-organized, and ideas progress logically. To enhance this further, you could benefit from varying your sentence structures more and using a wider range of cohesive devices, such as conjunctions and synonyms, to link sentences and paragraphs seamlessly.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

186 words

9.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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