Nowadays a large number of wild animals are under the threat of extinction. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

#animals #threat #extinction

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These days, we can see that the huge figure of creatures other than humans has reduced;

moreover

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, a species of them died out.

This

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essay discusses the main happening that creates

this

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situation and how we can solve

this

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matter. Unfortunately, Wilde's creatures are extinct for several reasons like not only deforestation but

also

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hunting for a range of parts. On the one hand, overpopulation is the main reason that jungles are destroyed.

In other words

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, when the global inhabitants increase, they need residential areas;

besides

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, they are replacing their homes with forests;

hence

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, wild

animals

Use synonyms

lose the regions where they live; in fact, the score of these creatures reduces.

On the other hand

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, a majority of particular

animals

Use synonyms

are killed for the parts of their body inasmuch as some people like to wear special clothes, bags, and shoes that are made of

animals

Use synonyms

' leather and fur.

This

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issue can be solved with governments when they earn a great deal of money from people who hunt

animals

Use synonyms

;

furthermore

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, decrease the area of cities by building a number of apartments. On the one side, if authorities receive too much money from the businesses which use natural leather and fur in their production, they won't utilize these goods in their production; in fact, the number of

animals

Use synonyms

that are killed for costumes fell. On the other side, It is important that governments change the houses to flats, having a large number of residents and the sectors that have are really fewer;

therefore

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, people do not destroy the jungle to build residential regions.

To conclude

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, In my opinion, wild

animals

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can survive when humans do not kill them for their own good and catch their home;

additionally

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this

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problem can be solved by authorities' plans in the cities' houses and luxurious products.

Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on Sun Oct 06 2024

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task achievement

Try to provide more specific examples, such as particular animal species that are endangered and specific efforts or campaigns aimed at their conservation.

task achievement

Aim to explain ideas more clearly, especially when discussing solutions to the problem, to ensure they are comprehensive and logical.

coherence cohesion

Connect sentences more smoothly to improve the overall flow of the essay. For instance, using linking words between sentences and paragraphs can help to demonstrate the relationships between ideas more clearly.

coherence cohesion

Develop the main points further with more detailed explanations to enhance cohesion.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the response effectively.

coherence cohesion

Each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the question, demonstrating logical organization.

task achievement

The topic of the essay is addressed, and key reasons for animal extinction and possible solutions are identified.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

299 words

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Nowadays a large number of wild animals are under the threat of extinction. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

Your opinion

Government investment in the visual arts, the kind you commonly see in art galleries, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Students in schools and universities learn more from their teachers than through other means such as the Internet, libraries, and TV. To what extent you agree or disagree?

Q= Having police officer patrolling the streets is often considered an essential way to reduce crime. How effective do you think police Street patrolling are? What other ways to reduce crime can you purpose?

There seems to be increasing trend towards assessing students through exams rather tah than Continual assessments. What are advantages and disadvantage?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?