IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In the opinion of some people, internet has narrowed the gap among people in the world by increasing social interaction. To what extent do you agree/disagree with this view?

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Some
people
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 argue that the
internet
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 fosters greater social networking by providing a platform for
individuals
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 to connect. I completely agree with
this
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 viewpoint, as the
internet
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 enables
people
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 to find like-minded partners and showcase their
achievements
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.
Individuals
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 with similar interests often seek each other out to share information.
For example
Linking Words
, someone who enjoys playing online games and faces challenges may find it beneficial to seek help from others. Experienced players can provide valuable advice that helps improve their skills.
Additionally
Linking Words
, these interactions can lead to new friendships.
However
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, some
individuals
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 may live in areas where there are few
people
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 who share their hobbies,
such
Linking Words
 as gamers living among athletes.
As a result
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, these gamers may feel isolated and lack companionship for gaming. In
this
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 context, the
internet
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 serves as a vital resource for many
people
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, helping them connect with others who share their interests.
Moreover
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, the
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 allows
people
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 to express their feelings,
achievements
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, and aspirations.
For instance
Linking Words
, when someone is accepted into a reputable university, they can create posts on social media to celebrate their accomplishments. Writing positive captions can attract potential friends from the same institution, including senior students interested in their
achievements
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 or classmates looking for connections.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, social media networking can
also
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 help graduate students secure job opportunities.
Thus
Linking Words
, the
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 facilitates the formation of both friendships and professional relationships. In conclusion, the
internet
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 significantly impacts social interaction by enabling
individuals
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 to expand their networks around specific hobbies. Many
people
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 even find job opportunities by sharing their
achievements
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 online.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
internet
Use synonyms
 plays a crucial role in enhancing social connections in today’s digital age.

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task achievement
Consider summarizing key points or insights from your arguments in the conclusion to strengthen your task response further.
coherence cohesion
While the essay maintains good coherence, sometimes connecting phrases or transitional sentences can help bridge ideas more seamlessly.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the prompt, providing a clear position and supporting arguments with examples.
coherence cohesion
You have crafted a well-structured essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, making it easy to follow.
task achievement
The examples, such as the use of online gaming and social media for networking, effectively support your main points.
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