IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

#week #workers #weekend
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In recent decades, there
is
Wrong verb form
has been
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an
Correct article usage
a
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arising
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rising
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 debate over whether the number of days off during the week should be extended or not. I am strongly convinced that shorter working hours can be highly beneficial because of some reasons that will be stated in
this
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 essay. First of all, reducing working
time
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 may bring many advantages to employees’ well-being.
This
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 is because I believe that with longer weekends, workers will have more
time
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 to rest and pursue their hobbies.
As a result
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,
this
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 will help them to release negative emotions
as well as
Linking Words
 recharge their energy, which can lead to an improvement in concentration and work performance. To illustrate, in some countries, a reduction in the required
time
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 at
office
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the office
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 has shown positive effects in improving
staffs’
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staff’s
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 health and productivity.
Secondly
Linking Words
, a shorter working week can
also
Linking Words
 be advantageous for employers and their
business
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businesses
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. Even though the amount of
time
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 workers spend on the job decreases, the quality of their output seems to be higher because when people are well-rested and motivated, they can achieve a more positive outcome in a shorter
time
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.
In addition
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, as the workers have more
time
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 to spend with their family and relationships, they are likely to feel satisfied with their
job
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jobs
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.
This
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 can lead to a lower turnover rate
of
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for
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 the company, which may help to save a lot of money and effort on recruiting new staff. In conclusion, I hold a firm belief that shortening the working hours can bring several benefits to both employees and the company’s business.
However
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, it is crucial to consider all the pros and cons before implementing
this
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 as it may not be suitable for all types of
corporation
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corporations
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.
Submitted by ieltswritingpracticedl on

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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, support your points with more specific examples or data to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Incorporate clearer transitions between paragraphs to enhance cohesion and make the flow of ideas more seamless.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical structure by ensuring every paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence followed by relevant information.
task achievement
The introduction clearly outlines the essay's stance and purpose.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a well-defined introduction and conclusion that summarizes the main points effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph addresses a distinct idea related to the topic, demonstrating a good attempt at organizing thoughts.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
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