In todays modern world, the pressure of modern life is negative. What is your opinion .

#todays #world #pressure #life

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Homo- sapiens are living

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

contempory

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contemporary

lifestyles. In

21st

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the 21st

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century, the burden of contemporary life is impacting

the

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apply

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personal and family relationships in

Change the article

a deletrious

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deletrious

Correct your spelling

deleterious

manner.

According to

Linking Words

me,

that

Correct pronoun usage

those

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kinds of pressures are built up

due to

Linking Words

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of understanding and

also

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

satisfying their desires.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the major reason behind the ruining of healthy

relationship

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relationships

show examples

is that

people

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are turning to be

money minded

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money-minded

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. Getting into details,

due to

Linking Words

diverse competition

people

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are trying hard to work around the clock to

satisy

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satisfy

their lavish demands. Day by day,

expenditures

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the expenditures

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of common

people

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are expanding

due to

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materialistic things.

Due to

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

people

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are

contributing

Verb problem

spending

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their most of

time

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Change preposition

apply

show examples

earning and conflicts arise within families

due to

Linking Words

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of communication and understanding.

According to

Linking Words

studies, almost 25% of

world's

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the world's

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population opt

illegal

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for illegal

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means to earn money to satisfy their needs but their families

suffered

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suffer

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alot

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a lot

due to

Linking Words

their illegal work.

Furthermore

Linking Words

the

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apply

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another reason for the

above stated

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above-stated

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concern is that so many individuals are

abondoning

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abandoning

their ethical values.

People

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are devoting their

time

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show examples

securing their jobs.

Due to

Linking Words

hectic schedules, parents and youngsters are not spending quality

time

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with each other,

that's

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that is

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why

relatonships

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relationships

weakens

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weaken

show examples

Linking Words

Also

Add a comma

Also,

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social media and

internet

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the internet

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are influencing

people

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greater

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a greater

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pace and taking the place of their quality

time

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. To support

with

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apply

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factual data, a survey was conducted by

toronto

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Toronto

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university which concluded that around 70%

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people

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of people

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are

obssessed

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obsessed

with social media platforms. So, mainly

people

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are not investing their

time

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in maintaining their relationships.

To conclude

Linking Words

, I would pen off by saying that

people

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ought to implement moral values in their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

and

also

Linking Words

try to satisfy their worldly needs rather than luxurious needs.

Submitted by gursagarsingh1998 on Mon Oct 07 2024

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coherence cohesion

Strengthen the logical structure by ensuring each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. You can improve this by using transition words and clearer topic sentences.

task achievement

Enhance the task achievement by ensuring all main points are fully explored and supported with more detailed examples.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.

task achievement

The essay addresses the task by discussing the negative impacts of modern life pressure on relationships and provides several supporting points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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In todays modern world, the pressure of modern life is negative. What is your opinion .

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many supermarkets sell more and more imported food products than ones produced in their home country. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

12/1 Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the art and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?