In todays modern world, the pressure of modern life is negative. What is your opinion .

Homo- sapiens are living
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
contempory
Correct your spelling
contemporary
lifestyles. In
21st
Change the article
the 21st
show examples
century, the burden of contemporary life is impacting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personal and family relationships in
Change the article
a deletrious
show examples
deletrious
Correct your spelling
deleterious
manner.
According to
me,
that
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those
show examples
kinds of pressures are built up
due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of understanding and
also
due to
satisfying their desires.
Firstly
, the major reason behind the ruining of healthy
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
is that
people
are turning to be
money minded
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money-minded
show examples
. Getting into details,
due to
diverse competition
people
are trying hard to work around the clock to
satisy
Correct your spelling
satisfy
their lavish demands. Day by day,
expenditures
Correct article usage
the expenditures
show examples
of common
people
are expanding
due to
materialistic things.
Due to
this
,
people
are
contributing
Verb problem
spending
show examples
their most of
time
in
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apply
show examples
earning and conflicts arise within families
due to
lack
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a lack
show examples
of communication and understanding.
According to
studies, almost 25% of
world's
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the world's
show examples
population opt
illegal
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for illegal
show examples
means to earn money to satisfy their needs but their families
suffered
Wrong verb form
suffer
show examples
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
due to
their illegal work.
Furthermore
,
the
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apply
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another reason for the
above stated
Add a hyphen
above-stated
show examples
concern is that so many individuals are
abondoning
Correct your spelling
abandoning
their ethical values.
People
are devoting their
time
in
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to
show examples
securing their jobs.
Due to
hectic schedules, parents and youngsters are not spending quality
time
with each other,
that's
Correct your spelling
that is
show examples
why
relatonships
Correct your spelling
relationships
weakens
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weaken
show examples
.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
social media and
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
are influencing
people
at
greater
Add an article
a greater
show examples
pace and taking the place of their quality
time
. To support
with
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apply
show examples
factual data, a survey was conducted by
toronto
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Toronto
show examples
university which concluded that around 70%
people
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of people
show examples
are
obssessed
Correct your spelling
obsessed
with social media platforms. So, mainly
people
are not investing their
time
in maintaining their relationships.
To conclude
, I would pen off by saying that
people
ought to implement moral values in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
and
also
try to satisfy their worldly needs rather than luxurious needs.
Submitted by gursagarsingh1998 on

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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
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coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing the negative impacts of modern life pressure on relationships and provides several supporting points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

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  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
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  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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