More developing countries are given aid from international organizations to help them in their development plans. Some people argue that financial aid is important but others suggest that practical aid and advice are more important? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

World organizations are giving aid to underdeveloped
countries
. Citizens worldwide have various thoughts about
this
. One
think
Change the verb form
thinks
show examples
that giving help is an absolute must
whereas
others think it is necessary to have practical help and advice. I believe that financial help brings more benefits than other types of help. Finance is a key to all developing sectors of a
nation
. Mention, infrastructure and food as both of them require a high amount of
money
to be developed. To build an infrastructure to support all of the country's citizens will require a hefty amount of
money
, which some underdeveloped
countries
couldn’t afford, at least to meet a developed country's standard. Food is
also
important for developing
countries
, as they decide the quality of their citizens. Most underdeveloped
countries
do not have
money
to build a field for crops. All of the given sectors are just examples of how finance brings much benefit to a
nation
. Practical help or just advice is important for a
nation
to develop, as some
countries
have a better experience of developing a
nation
. Experience is sometimes required for making a plan, as it will make it easier. As an example, giving direct consequences of a plan will make the government easier to choose the path that has little risk.
Moreover
, practical help
also
can be implemented directly and reduce the chance of the
money
getting corrupted. Implementing directly will accelerate the developing process and release the unnecessary problems caused by investing the
money
. In General, both opinions are required for
countries
to grow.
However
, financing is the key to all development plans for underdeveloped
countries
across the globe.
Submitted by arsyiiimuhammad061 on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses both views and provides your opinion, which is good. However, it could be improved by offering more specific examples and details to support your points. Try to include concrete instances or case studies to illustrate how financial aid or practical help has benefited developing countries.
coherence cohesion
Some sections of your essay need better cohesion. For instance, your essay could benefit from smoother transitions between paragraphs and points. Use linking words and phrases to help your reader follow your arguments more easily.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear, but try to develop them further. For example, you mentioned that 'finance is the key to all developing sectors of a nation,' but you could elaborate more on how exactly financial aid impacts specific sectors like education, healthcare, etc.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion, which helps convey your ideas effectively.
task achievement
Your language is generally clear and understandable, and you have presented both sides of the argument in a balanced manner.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable development
  • infrastructure
  • capacity building
  • technology transfer
  • corruption
  • efficiently
  • dependency
  • holistic development
  • immediate needs
  • empower
  • sustainability
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