Longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people suggest that people over the age of sixty-five can continue to live full and active lives. In what ways can society benefit from the contribution that older people can make?

#life #improvements #health #people #age #sixty-five #lives #society #benefit #contribution

this

day and age, technological advancements have led to an increase in life expectancy and the strengthening of health in older

people

thus

enabling them to live an exuberant life. The following essay is going to discuss the positive effects it brings to society. First and foremost,

people

who are over sixty-five can continue to contribute to society in the form of working. Simply put, though older individuals may not be fit to participate in works that require physical strength, there are plenty of jobs that could be a good fit for the elderly

such

as guards and running a small vendor.

For example

, in Vietnam, old

people

tend to work as guards for clothing shops, in which their main task is helping customers park their vehicles on the sidewalk.

Moreover

, many senior citizens in Vietnam still open their own businesses, normally serving light meals or running a convenience store.

Furthermore

, senior citizens can work in charity.

This

due to

the fact that many elderly have retired, so they have a lot of free time and energy, so many of them would direct their efforts into helping

people

in need.

For instance

, a group of old Vietnamese ladies once set up a counter in front of a hospital in Hanoi to give away free food to relatives of the patients, who were, at the time, tight on money because they needed to save up for medical procedures. In conclusion, the long life spans and improvements in the health of senior citizens mean that they can still contribute to our society despite their old age,

such

as continue working and doing charity.

Submitted by duongntt.tld on Mon Oct 07 2024

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coherence

Try to improve the fluency and logical flow between your paragraphs with clearer topic sentences that transition smoothly from one idea to the next.

cohesion

Clarify certain points with additional details to enhance understanding, as some ideas may seem generalized or lacking depth.

coherence

The essay achieves a balanced introduction and conclusion, tying the main ideas together effectively.

task response

You provide relevant and specific examples, particularly those relatable to the situation in Vietnam, enhancing the essay's relevance and engagement.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

273 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people suggest that people over the age of sixty-five can continue to live full and active lives. In what ways can society benefit from the contribution that older people can make?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Topic: Some people say that poor students or students who come from rural areas often find it difficult to have access to university education. What should be done to solve this problem? 250 words.

First impressions are highly important. So, some people think that doing well in interviews is the key to securing a good job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women. What is your opinion?

Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born. What might be the reasons for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages?”