In the modern world, it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via the Internet and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Is it a positive or negative development in your opinion?
In the modern world, technological advancements have given rise to various online
platforms
that enable people
to work, shop, and communicate without the need for face-to-face interactions. In my opinion, this
phenomenon has both positive and negative aspects.
On the one hand, the internet
proves to be highly convenient in numerous ways. Many individuals utilize it to stay connected with friends and family, using platforms
like Facebook, Skype, or Instagram to exchange instant messages or engage in quick conversations. Furthermore
, the internet
has revolutionized the way we shop, allowing us to save both time and fuel by avoiding trips to physical stores and enabling us to search for the best deals online. However
, it is in the realm of work that the internet
offers the most substantial benefits. An increasing number of Capitalize word
Internet
people
are now working or studying from the comfort of their homes, choosing hours that suit their schedules. For example
, during the COVID-19 pandemic, social distancing became crucial, prompting companies and schools to shift their operations online. This
transition has introduced a new trend of working from home, which has created numerous job opportunities for young individuals.
On the other hand
, the proliferation of internet
usage is giving rise to several social issues. For instance
, online chat platforms
have become a common mode of communication, leading people
to interact less frequently in face-to-face settings. This
can lead to misunderstandings, as some individuals struggle to convey their thoughts effectively through written messages. In contrast
, offline shopping allows customers to try on clothing and assess material quality, which online platforms
cannot replicate. Moreover
, effective teamwork often relies on clear communication between team members, which can be challenging to achieve online. Some people
find it difficult to establish strong interpersonal relationships without face-to-face contact. Therefore
, physical meetings can play a crucial role in strengthening team dynamics.
In conclusion, the internet
has brought about both positive and negative developments. Striking a balance between these aspects is essential for enhancing efficiency in work, communication, and shopping.Submitted by ngovhngoc on
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task achievement
To improve your task achievement score, make sure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. While you've provided a balanced view on the development of internet usage, consider elaborating more on specific examples that illustrate both the positives and negatives in concrete scenarios outside of the mentioned COVID-19 context. This will enrich your essay and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, your essay is well-organized and follows a logical structure. To further enhance this area, consider varying your transition phrases more to smoothly connect ideas between paragraphs. Additionally, ensure that the cohesion within paragraphs is tight by linking sentences more effectively, making your argument progression crystal clear.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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