many people try to achieve success through their career or education. what can be success mean to different people? what is your view of success?

Many
people
put effort
to achieve
Change preposition
into achieving
show examples
success
from their education or from
career
Correct pronoun usage
their career
show examples
, definition of
success
is different for everyone,
however
in my perspective define of
success
is being better than your thoughts. It is normal that
success
means different to anyone, it is based on
age
or might be the goal that they have, as
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example, for
teenegers
Correct your spelling
teenagers
success
means
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
getting wealthy which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
common
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
that
age
. In terms of
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
age
, many of them think
finding
Change preposition
about finding
show examples
their own place in life.
Moreover
, it means differently to other
people
that exist, working on your dream job,
also
having
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
salary with many supporters from your back is definitely means to
success
everyone. plus it has
special
Add an article
a special
show examples
place in their thoughts.
Therefore
, the meaning of attainment may vary depending on
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
group. From my own personal view
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
complishment
Correct your spelling
accomplishment
is being better than your own thoughts, in
reality
Add the comma(s)
reality,
show examples
if someone in life wants to become rich person,
whereas
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
when that person becomes even wealthier than even he thought, it is probably
definition
Add an article
the definition
show examples
of being successful,
however
even many
people
think it is being rich, it is not the case of it, the reason is it is only in finance plus it is not
general
Add an article
the general
show examples
meaning of it.
Therefore
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
personally believe when
people
have exact for their future, it might be much more realistic to achieve. In conclusion, numerous
people
's opinion for achievement is getting high paying job
along with
having
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
state in financial.
Eventhough
Correct your spelling
Even though
it is maybe being rich,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
do believe it is
great
Correct word choice
greater
show examples
than your own.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and use linking words to improve the logical structure.
task achievement
Include specific examples to better illustrate your points.
task achievement
Try to elaborate more on your personal view of success to provide a comprehensive understanding.
task achievement
You've done well to recognize that success means different things to different people, which addresses the prompt effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and reflect the main points of your discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fulfillment
  • personal goals
  • happiness
  • career milestones
  • professional development
  • financial independence
  • security
  • philanthropy
  • contribution
  • personal development
  • recognition
  • work-life balance
  • self-improvement
  • well-being
  • subjective
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!