many people try to achieve success through their career or education. what can be success mean to different people? what is your view of success?

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Many
people
put effort
to achieve
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into achieving
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success
from their education or from
career
Correct pronoun usage
their career
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, definition of
success
is different for everyone,
however
in my perspective define of
success
is being better than your thoughts. It is normal that
success
means different to anyone, it is based on
age
or might be the goal that they have, as
an
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apply
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example, for
teenegers
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teenagers
success
means
is
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apply
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getting wealthy which
it
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apply
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is considered
as
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apply
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common
in
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at
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that
age
. In terms of
elderly
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the elderly
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age
, many of them think
finding
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about finding
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their own place in life.
Moreover
, it means differently to other
people
that exist, working on your dream job,
also
having
high
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a high
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salary with many supporters from your back is definitely means to
success
everyone. plus it has
special
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a special
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place in their thoughts.
Therefore
, the meaning of attainment may vary depending on
age
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the age
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group. From my own personal view
for
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apply
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complishment
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accomplishment
is being better than your own thoughts, in
reality
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reality,
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if someone in life wants to become rich person,
whereas
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apply
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when that person becomes even wealthier than even he thought, it is probably
definition
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the definition
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of being successful,
however
even many
people
think it is being rich, it is not the case of it, the reason is it is only in finance plus it is not
general
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the general
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meaning of it.
Therefore
i
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I
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personally believe when
people
have exact for their future, it might be much more realistic to achieve. In conclusion, numerous
people
's opinion for achievement is getting high paying job
along with
having
good
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a good
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state in financial.
Eventhough
Correct your spelling
Even though
it is maybe being rich,
however
Add a comma
however,
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i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
do believe it is
great
Correct word choice
greater
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than your own.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and use linking words to improve the logical structure.
task achievement
Include specific examples to better illustrate your points.
task achievement
Try to elaborate more on your personal view of success to provide a comprehensive understanding.
task achievement
You've done well to recognize that success means different things to different people, which addresses the prompt effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and reflect the main points of your discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fulfillment
  • personal goals
  • happiness
  • career milestones
  • professional development
  • financial independence
  • security
  • philanthropy
  • contribution
  • personal development
  • recognition
  • work-life balance
  • self-improvement
  • well-being
  • subjective
What to do next:
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