Some people think that the best way to resolve environmental problems is to increase fuel and vehicles’ prices. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Environmental concerns have become a crucial topic these days and many believe that rising fuel and
vehicles
costs will tackle
this
problem. I personally agree with
this
notion because it forces
citizens
to reduce car demand and motivates them to turn
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
more environmentally friendly
vehicles
.
To begin
with, increasing fuel's selling price will force people to reduce its usage and increase
air
quality. As the price increases, people unwillingly switch to other alternative power sources,
such
as batteries, or they will sell their
cars
instead
.
Hence
, the demand for
cars
will decline and it puts pressure on manufacturers to stop producing them.
As a result
, decreasing usage of
cars
will significantly affect the level of
air
pollution.
For example
, the
air
quality index in Indonesia reached a hazardous level in 2017, and thereby the government decided to cut off patron's subsidies to tackle
this
issue.
Furthermore
, by bringing
vehicles
Change the noun form
vehicle
show examples
prices to rise,
citizens
will consider purchasing electric
cars
.
This
type of car is considered environmentally friendly transportation because it does not produce dense fog in the
air
. As more individuals drive
this
car, the level of
air
quality will improve.
For instance
, Indonesian officials subsidize electric
cars
to be more affordable and motivate their
citizens
to transform their current
vehicles
into electric-powered transportation. It is expected to have more than half of
citizens
ride voltaic
cars
in order to achieve the national target of emission reduction. In conclusion, I completely believe that bringing up the cost of fuel energy and
vehicles
can be a correct choice to solve environmental concerns because it leads to a decrease in the demand for
cars
and an increase in the supply of electric
cars
, which are beneficial in reducing
air
pollution.
Submitted by chocolate10 on

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task achievement
Although the essay provides a comprehensive response to the prompt, consider adding additional specific examples to strengthen the argument even further.
coherence cohesion
For improved logical flow, ensure that all ideas are cohesively connected and progress smoothly from one to the next.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulates the arguments effectively.
task achievement
The main ideas are comprehensively explored, and there's a convincing discussion around the topic.
task achievement
The use of examples like the scenario in Indonesia reinforces the points and makes the argument more tangible.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Environmental problems
  • Fuel prices
  • Vehicle emissions
  • Sustainability
  • Public transportation
  • Alternative energy sources
  • Innovation
  • Government intervention
  • Renewable energy
  • Commuting
  • Low-income individuals
  • Disproportionate effect
  • Resistance
  • Pushback
  • Infrastructure
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