it is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. do you think the advantages of risks outweigh the disadvantages?
Risk taking
both in personal and professional life can be advantageous, Add a hyphen
Risk-taking
however
, i
do not believe that its benefits would necessarily overshadow its downturns.
Taking Change the capitalization
I
risks
not only teach
individuals invaluable lessons but Correct subject-verb agreement
teaches
also
can guarantee a
profound Remove the article
apply
happiness
. Doing mundane tasks bring
nothing but a solid salary with itself Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
while
opening the door to uncharted territories can offer various challenges, along which you will be able to learn priceless skills. By taking a risk you put yourself out of your comfort zone, forcing your mind to be creative and innovative. These skills not only enable you to overcome challenges,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
strengthen your brain muscles. Consequently
, you would become a better problem-solver, which would help one
to stand out among Correct pronoun usage
you
their
peers in the workplace. Correct pronoun usage
your
Moreover
, research has proved that true happiness
is a byproduct of overcoming setbacks, thereby, being prone to difficulties can offer an
in-depth Remove the article
apply
happiness
.
While
diligent risks
can offer such
merits, impromptu ones are likely to turn into perils. Firstly
, risking can simply be defined as an act by which one
will abandon a guaranteed path for an invaluable goal. As a results
, taking Correct the article-noun agreement
result
risks
haphazardly, without having a bigger picture of one
's pursuits will only ruin one
's reputation. secondly
, if one
will be
defeated the pressure of the challenge accompanied Wrong verb form
is
with
their dismal mood Change preposition
by
afterward
can make individuals prone to mental diseases Change the spelling
afterwards
such
as anxiety or major depression.
in conclusion, taking minor, planned risks
can foster one
's cognitive abilities and produce happiness
, while
impromptu risks
make disadvantages to
become highlighted.Fix the infinitive
apply
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grammar
Ensure consistent capitalization, especially at the beginning of sentences and for proper nouns.
task response
Provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention concrete situations in personal or professional life where risk-taking leads to benefits or drawbacks.
coherence
Try to maintain a more balanced structure throughout the essay and ensure fluid transitions between ideas to aid the reader's understanding.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, helping to frame your argument effectively.
task response
You made a valid point that risk-taking can foster problem-solving skills and happiness when planned carefully.
content
Your essay reflects on both personal and professional contexts when discussing risks.