IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

There is a rising trend of people working from home. What are the causes of this trend, and what effects does it have on society?

#trend #people #home #effects #society
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, many
people
Use synonyms
 have been using
work
Use synonyms
 from
home
Use synonyms
 as their way of working.
This
Linking Words
 method has increased significantly since the pandemic Covid-19.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the causes of the problem and what effects it has on
society
Use synonyms
. It is widely known that, in the digital era, many
people
Use synonyms
 are connected to each other with technology devices through the internet.
For instance
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can collaborate in their
work
Use synonyms
 with the Internet, and it makes productivity increase significantly. During the pandemic, workers from a lot of companies have been adopting working from
home
Use synonyms
 because it gives them an effective and efficient method to do their job, and it enables the capability to hold meetings and discussions anywhere. Another major cause of the rising trend of working homes is the level of density population in many cities increasing every year. It is related to the number of private vehicles which are used by
people
Use synonyms
 in their daily activities.
For example
Linking Words
, Jakarta has a population of more than 10 million
people
Use synonyms
 and traffic jams always occur almost every day.
This
Linking Words
 condition makes
society
Use synonyms
 choose other options to
work
Use synonyms
, from old working habits to working from
home
Use synonyms
. There is an effect which appears around the
society
Use synonyms
 after trend working increasing until currently. Many
people
Use synonyms
 who implement working from
home
Use synonyms
 need a
work
Use synonyms
 environment which supports their working way. Some companies do not support
this
Linking Words
 method, so workers who do not want to leave their
work
Use synonyms
 from
home
Use synonyms
 need to adapt or move to another company. In conclusion, the rising trend of working from
home
Use synonyms
 is caused by the pandemic season, and the need for an effective, efficient, and collaborative way of working from anywhere.
However
Linking Words
, it will impact
society
Use synonyms
 when they do not want to change their
work
Use synonyms
 from
home
Use synonyms
 to onsite
work
Use synonyms
, they need to change their company.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a clearer division between main ideas and supporting details. Consider using more transitional words and phrases to improve the logical flow between paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Try to elaborate more on each point and give additional supporting examples or explanations to strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in providing a complete response to the task.
Task Achievement
The use of examples, such as mentioning traffic issues in Jakarta, enhances the relevance of the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: