It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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A group of individuals would argue that some infants have a genetic background for some traits including

music

Use synonyms

and

sports

Use synonyms

when they are born.

Linking Words

However

Add a comma

However,

show examples

others, myself included, share the idea that children can become

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

professional

sportsman

Fix the agreement mistake

sportsmen

show examples

/women or

musician

Fix the agreement mistake

musicians

show examples

throughout their lives. Both have their own reasoning which will be discussed in

this

Linking Words

essay. Genes can influence huge numbers of factors in the livelihood of living creatures. To start with, it is evident that myriad characteristics of human beings are highly determined by genomes which are formed and inevitably inherited from parents before birth.

In other words

Linking Words

, mankind can pass down some limitations, drawbacks, and

also

Linking Words

positive traits to their children.

For instance

Linking Words

, it is obvious that some people are more susceptible to a range of diseases since they contain a specific group of genes.

Additionally

Linking Words

, on the other side of

coin

Add an article

the coin

show examples

, a group of young adults have

such

Linking Words

innate talent towards some skills and they can surpass their counterparts without much training.

Thus

Linking Words

, some newborns may possess competent genetic content that

turn

Change the verb form

turns

show examples

them to be

expert

Fix the agreement mistake

experts

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in diverse domains.

However

Linking Words

, the capabilities of youngsters

Change the verb form

are

show examples

not solely affected by their nature.

To begin

Linking Words

with,

it is clear that

Linking Words

every child, though being amateur in the beginning, can nurture themselves to become a well-known athlete or musician. To elaborate, with dedicating enough practice, time, and patience, with

huge

Add an article

a huge

show examples

deal of

will power

Correct your spelling

willpower

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, children can have a brilliant future in the world of

sports

Use synonyms

music

Use synonyms

, and genetic background

Change the verb form

does

show examples

not play much of a role.

For example

Linking Words

, take identical twins into account,

although

Linking Words

they both share almost similar genetic contents, one of them, with adequate training, can be a renowned athlete and the other one cannot achieve so without dedication and just by benefiting from their genomes.

Therefore

Linking Words

, young individuals can learn to be a successful figure in

sports

Use synonyms

music

Use synonyms

To conclude

Linking Words

, I believe there are other factors,

besides

Linking Words

genetic background, that play a role in whether a newborn will excel in

sports

Use synonyms

music

Use synonyms

, and every child with enough practice can reach

this

Linking Words

goal.

zahramiri1994Tue Oct 08 2024

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coherence cohesion

While the essay provides a good structure, try to ensure each paragraph connects logically with clear linking words. It may enhance the logical flow between points.

task achievement

Although the essay presents a complete response, ensure that each argument in the discussion is balanced and developed equally to avoid leaning more heavily on one side than the other.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction that outlines the two views and presents the writer's thesis.

coherence cohesion

Concluding paragraph effectively summarizes the main points of the discussion and reiterates the opinion.

task achievement

Each paragraph supports the main points with relevant examples and reasoning, which demonstrates a good level of understanding.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

347 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Innate talent
Nurture
Prodigy
Proficiency
Deliberate practice
Physiological factors
Grit
Perseverance
Cultural norms
Structured training
Physical predisposition
Natural aptitude
Dedicated training
Societal influence
Passion
Genetic endowment
Skill acquisition
Expertise
Extracurricular activities
Mastery
Cognitive abilities

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Your opinion

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