It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
A group of individuals would argue that some infants have a genetic background for some traits including
music
and sports
when they are born. However
others, myself included, share the idea that children can become Add a comma
However,
a
professional Correct article usage
apply
sportsman
/women or Fix the agreement mistake
sportsmen
musician
throughout their lives. Both have their own reasoning which will be discussed in Fix the agreement mistake
musicians
this
essay.
Genes can influence huge numbers of factors in the livelihood of living creatures. To start with, it is evident that myriad characteristics of human beings are highly determined by genomes which are formed and inevitably inherited from parents before birth. In other words
, mankind can pass down some limitations, drawbacks, and also
positive traits to their children. For instance
, it is obvious that some people are more susceptible to a range of diseases since they contain a specific group of genes. Additionally
, on the other side of coin
, a group of young adults have Add an article
the coin
such
innate talent towards some skills and they can surpass their counterparts without much training. Thus
, some newborns may possess competent genetic content that turn
them to be Change the verb form
turns
expert
in diverse domains.
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
However
, the capabilities of youngsters is
not solely affected by their nature. Change the verb form
are
To begin
with, it is clear that
every child, though being amateur in the beginning, can nurture themselves to become a well-known athlete or musician. To elaborate, with dedicating enough practice, time, and patience, with huge
deal of Add an article
a huge
will power
, children can have a brilliant future in the world of Correct your spelling
willpower
sports
or music
, and genetic background do
not play much of a role. Change the verb form
does
For example
, take identical twins into account, although
they both share almost similar genetic contents, one of them, with adequate training, can be a renowned athlete and the other one cannot achieve so without dedication and just by benefiting from their genomes. Therefore
, young individuals can learn to be a successful figure in sports
or music
.
To conclude
, I believe there are other factors, besides
genetic background, that play a role in whether a newborn will excel in sports
or music
, and every child with enough practice can reach this
goal.Submitted by zahramiri1994 on
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coherence cohesion
While the essay provides a good structure, try to ensure each paragraph connects logically with clear linking words. It may enhance the logical flow between points.
task achievement
Although the essay presents a complete response, ensure that each argument in the discussion is balanced and developed equally to avoid leaning more heavily on one side than the other.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction that outlines the two views and presents the writer's thesis.
coherence cohesion
Concluding paragraph effectively summarizes the main points of the discussion and reiterates the opinion.
task achievement
Each paragraph supports the main points with relevant examples and reasoning, which demonstrates a good level of understanding.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?