It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

A group of individuals would argue that some infants have a genetic background for some traits including
music
and
sports
when they are born.
However
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However,
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others, myself included, share the idea that children can become
a
Correct article usage
apply
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professional
sportsman
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sportsmen
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/women or
musician
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musicians
show examples
throughout their lives. Both have their own reasoning which will be discussed in
this
essay. Genes can influence huge numbers of factors in the livelihood of living creatures. To start with, it is evident that myriad characteristics of human beings are highly determined by genomes which are formed and inevitably inherited from parents before birth.
In other words
, mankind can pass down some limitations, drawbacks, and
also
positive traits to their children.
For instance
, it is obvious that some people are more susceptible to a range of diseases since they contain a specific group of genes.
Additionally
, on the other side of
coin
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the coin
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, a group of young adults have
such
innate talent towards some skills and they can surpass their counterparts without much training.
Thus
, some newborns may possess competent genetic content that
turn
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turns
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them to be
expert
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experts
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in diverse domains.
However
, the capabilities of youngsters
is
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are
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not solely affected by their nature.
To begin
with,
it is clear that
every child, though being amateur in the beginning, can nurture themselves to become a well-known athlete or musician. To elaborate, with dedicating enough practice, time, and patience, with
huge
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a huge
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deal of
will power
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willpower
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, children can have a brilliant future in the world of
sports
or
music
, and genetic background
do
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does
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not play much of a role.
For example
, take identical twins into account,
although
they both share almost similar genetic contents, one of them, with adequate training, can be a renowned athlete and the other one cannot achieve so without dedication and just by benefiting from their genomes.
Therefore
, young individuals can learn to be a successful figure in
sports
or
music
.
To conclude
, I believe there are other factors,
besides
genetic background, that play a role in whether a newborn will excel in
sports
or
music
, and every child with enough practice can reach
this
goal.
Submitted by zahramiri1994 on

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coherence cohesion
While the essay provides a good structure, try to ensure each paragraph connects logically with clear linking words. It may enhance the logical flow between points.
task achievement
Although the essay presents a complete response, ensure that each argument in the discussion is balanced and developed equally to avoid leaning more heavily on one side than the other.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction that outlines the two views and presents the writer's thesis.
coherence cohesion
Concluding paragraph effectively summarizes the main points of the discussion and reiterates the opinion.
task achievement
Each paragraph supports the main points with relevant examples and reasoning, which demonstrates a good level of understanding.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Innate talent
  • Nurture
  • Prodigy
  • Proficiency
  • Deliberate practice
  • Physiological factors
  • Grit
  • Perseverance
  • Cultural norms
  • Structured training
  • Physical predisposition
  • Natural aptitude
  • Dedicated training
  • Societal influence
  • Passion
  • Genetic endowment
  • Skill acquisition
  • Expertise
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Mastery
  • Cognitive abilities
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