Several people assert that the main cause of crime is an economically disadvantaged background. However, others say that crime is caused by a person’s nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #crime #background #person’s #nature

Among

the

Correct article usage

apply

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society, there are different views about the reason for criminal activities whether tied to

socio-economical

Correct your spelling

socioeconomic

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status or

individual's

Correct article usage

an individual's

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character.

While

criminal acts can

be occurred

Wrong verb form

occur

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due to

psychologic

Replace the word

psychological

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conditions, I argue that

this

phenomenon is more likely to be linked with

low-income

Correct your spelling

low income

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. The nature of human

being

Fix the agreement mistake

beings

show examples

varies from

person

Correct pronoun usage

one person

show examples

to another. It is compelling to say that everyone aims for peace and harmonic life. There are many conditions that make one to be more evil or aggressive,

such

as psychopathy, sociopathy, and hyperirritability. People who have these conditions are inclined to commit

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

easily as they cannot restrain themselves. By involving criminal activities, these individuals

fullfill

Correct your spelling

fulfil

their needs without feeling guilty. Take homicide cases as an example. Most of them are not money-motivated.

Therefore

, they kill just for fun.

In contrast

, there are a lot of people who were compelled to commit

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

. In general, the motivation of their acts is closely related to

economical

Replace the word

economic

show examples

disadvantages.

Such

people are generally thieves, scammers, or drug dealers. Since they are likely to be nurtured by less-educated or like-minded parents, knowing the difference between right and wrong is impossible for them. Yet, even though these individuals commit relatively light crimes,

crime

records indicate that the largest proportion of criminal acts

motivated

Add a missing verb

are motivated

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by money and money-related issues.

Consequently

financially

Correct article usage

the financially

show examples

disadvantaged are more inclined to take part in

crimeworld

Correct your spelling

crime

. In conclusion, both

destitude

Correct your spelling

destitute

and affluent humans commit

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

, but, the main reason for

this

sociological problem is money.

Submitted by TUTOO on Tue Oct 08 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Consider providing clearer transitions between paragraphs or ideas to improve the flow of your essay.

Task Achievement

Try to introduce more specific examples that illustrate your points effectively.

Task Achievement

Elaborate more on the opposing views to demonstrate a balanced understanding of the topic.

Task Achievement

The essay topic is addressed with a clear standpoint and includes both views regarding the cause of crime.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear start and end to the essay.

Task Achievement

Attempts to provide reasoning for the views are made, showing effort to support the main points.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

246 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Several people assert that the main cause of crime is an economically disadvantaged background. However, others say that crime is caused by a person’s nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Word Count

Some countries encourage foreign companies to open in their country. Many people think that the government should focus on encouraging local business rather than foreign businesses. To what extent do you agree? (reported 2021, 2023)

In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?

Education and health care should be funded by the government and free for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

At the present, the population some countries includes relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do advantages of this situation outweigh the diadvantages?