Several people assert that the main cause of crime is an economically disadvantaged background. However, others say that crime is caused by a person’s nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Among
the
society, there are different views about the reason for criminal activities whether tied to Correct article usage
apply
socio-economical
status or Correct your spelling
socioeconomic
individual's
character. Correct article usage
an individual's
While
criminal acts can be occurred
Wrong verb form
occur
due to
psychologic
conditions, I argue that Replace the word
psychological
this
phenomenon is more likely to be linked with low-income
.
The nature of human Correct your spelling
low income
being
varies from Fix the agreement mistake
beings
person
to another. It is compelling to say that everyone aims for peace and harmonic life. There are many conditions that make one to be more evil or aggressive, Correct pronoun usage
one person
such
as psychopathy, sociopathy, and hyperirritability. People who have these conditions are inclined to commit crime
easily as they cannot restrain themselves. By involving criminal activities, these individuals Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
fullfill
their needs without feeling guilty. Take homicide cases as an example. Most of them are not money-motivated. Correct your spelling
fulfil
Therefore
, they kill just for fun.
In contrast
, there are a lot of people who were compelled to commit crime
. In general, the motivation of their acts is closely related to Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
economical
disadvantages. Replace the word
economic
Such
people are generally thieves, scammers, or drug dealers. Since they are likely to be nurtured by less-educated or like-minded parents, knowing the difference between right and wrong is impossible for them. Yet, even though these individuals commit relatively light crimes, crime
records indicate that the largest proportion of criminal acts motivated
by money and money-related issues. Add a missing verb
are motivated
Consequently
, financially
disadvantaged are more inclined to take part in Correct article usage
the financially
crimeworld
.
In conclusion, both Correct your spelling
crime
destitude
and affluent humans commit Correct your spelling
destitute
crime
, but, the main reason for Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
this
sociological problem is money.Submitted by TUTOO on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Consider providing clearer transitions between paragraphs or ideas to improve the flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
Try to introduce more specific examples that illustrate your points effectively.
Task Achievement
Elaborate more on the opposing views to demonstrate a balanced understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
The essay topic is addressed with a clear standpoint and includes both views regarding the cause of crime.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear start and end to the essay.
Task Achievement
Attempts to provide reasoning for the views are made, showing effort to support the main points.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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