Several people assert that the main cause of crime is an economically disadvantaged background. However, others say that crime is caused by a person’s nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Among

the

Correct article usage

apply

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society, there are different views about the reason for criminal activities whether tied to

socio-economical

Correct your spelling

socioeconomic

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status or

individual's

Correct article usage

an individual's

show examples

character.

While

Linking Words

criminal acts can

be occurred

Wrong verb form

occur

show examples

due to

Linking Words

psychologic

Replace the word

psychological

show examples

conditions, I argue that

this

Linking Words

phenomenon is more likely to be linked with

low-income

Correct your spelling

low income

show examples

. The nature of human

being

Fix the agreement mistake

beings

show examples

varies from

person

Correct pronoun usage

one person

show examples

to another. It is compelling to say that everyone aims for peace and harmonic life. There are many conditions that make one to be more evil or aggressive,

such

Linking Words

as psychopathy, sociopathy, and hyperirritability. People who have these conditions are inclined to commit

Use synonyms

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

easily as they cannot restrain themselves. By involving criminal activities, these individuals

fullfill

Correct your spelling

fulfil

their needs without feeling guilty. Take homicide cases as an example. Most of them are not money-motivated.

Therefore

Linking Words

, they kill just for fun.

In contrast

Linking Words

, there are a lot of people who were compelled to commit

Use synonyms

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

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. In general, the motivation of their acts is closely related to

economical

Replace the word

economic

show examples

disadvantages.

Such

Linking Words

people are generally thieves, scammers, or drug dealers. Since they are likely to be nurtured by less-educated or like-minded parents, knowing the difference between right and wrong is impossible for them. Yet, even though these individuals commit relatively light crimes,

crime

Use synonyms

records indicate that the largest proportion of criminal acts

motivated

Add a missing verb

are motivated

show examples

by money and money-related issues.

Consequently

Linking Words

financially

Correct article usage

the financially

show examples

disadvantaged are more inclined to take part in

crimeworld

Correct your spelling

crime

. In conclusion, both

destitude

Correct your spelling

destitute

and affluent humans commit

Use synonyms

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

, but, the main reason for

this

Linking Words

sociological problem is money.

TUTOO

Oct 8, 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Consider providing clearer transitions between paragraphs or ideas to improve the flow of your essay.

Task Achievement

Try to introduce more specific examples that illustrate your points effectively.

Task Achievement

Elaborate more on the opposing views to demonstrate a balanced understanding of the topic.

Task Achievement

The essay topic is addressed with a clear standpoint and includes both views regarding the cause of crime.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear start and end to the essay.

Task Achievement

Attempts to provide reasoning for the views are made, showing effort to support the main points.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

246 words

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