IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

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Success
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 is a subjective concept shaped by personal aspirations, cultural influences, and societal expectations.
While
Linking Words
 some define it through
career
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 advancement and financial prosperity, others prioritize personal
fulfillment
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fulfilment
show examples
, relationships, and well-being.
This
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 diversity highlights that
success
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 cannot be universally defined - an opinion that I hold as well. For many,
success
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 is synonymous with professional achievements and financial security. Climbing the corporate ladder, earning prestigious qualifications, or building a successful business are widely recognized markers of accomplishment. These milestones provide not only personal satisfaction but
also
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 social validation, reinforcing the idea that
success
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 is
career
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-driven.
Additionally
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, financial stability grants access to better opportunities and a higher quality of
life
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.
However
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,
this
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 perspective can be limiting, as it neglects intangible yet equally significant aspects of
fulfillment
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fulfilment
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. Beyond professional
success
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, meaningful relationships and personal well-being are crucial indicators of a fulfilling
life
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. Strong connections with family and friends, community involvement, and emotional resilience contribute significantly to happiness. Self-improvement, overcoming challenges, and maintaining mental and physical health
also
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 foster a deep sense of achievement. A person who finds joy and purpose in everyday
life
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 may be just as successful as someone with wealth and status.
Moreover
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, many who dedicate themselves to creativity, philanthropy, or personal passions find
fulfillment
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fulfilment
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 outside conventional
career
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success
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, proving that achievement extends beyond financial and professional milestones. Ultimately, I believe
success
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 lies in balancing
career
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 aspirations with personal well-being.
While
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 external accomplishments are valuable, they should not come at the expense of health or relationships. True
success
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 is measured by purpose, satisfaction, and the ability to lead a fulfilling
life
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. A holistic approach- one that integrates
career
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 achievements with happiness and well-being- ensures long-term contentment and a truly successful
life
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.

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task achievement
Consider expanding on your examples for clarity, especially in the discussion of non-traditional definitions of success.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph consistently links back to your central argument regarding the definition of success; this could further enhance coherence.
content
Your essay presents a balanced view on what success means, effectively incorporating multiple perspectives.
structure
The structure is clear, with a strong introduction and conclusion that encapsulates your main ideas well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fulfillment
  • personal goals
  • happiness
  • career milestones
  • professional development
  • financial independence
  • security
  • philanthropy
  • contribution
  • personal development
  • recognition
  • work-life balance
  • self-improvement
  • well-being
  • subjective
What to do next:
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