Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

Earth
is the
planet
where
people
lived in
this
world
for
such
a long time. Some
people
argue that governments should expand more cash for other life opportunities on other planets,
while
others believe
that is
unnecessary to spend state
money
when there are so many issues to fix on
earth
.
While
some
people
argue that the
government
should expand more
money
for the new habitat for
humans
, I side with
people
those
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
who feel that waste of civil
money
.  On the one hand, searching for a new
planet
to live
together with
humans
will create challenges for the
government
. Living on a new
planet
,
humans
will experience a new atmosphere, but scientists believe
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
really impossible for
humans
to adapt and survive on a new
planet
,
such
as Saturn or Mars. Other than that, moving to a new place, not only
required
Wrong verb form
requires
show examples
money
but
also
advanced knowledge and technology, which is not easy to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
.
For instance
, in 2012 there was an issue about the end of the
world
, many experts tried to create a top-notch technology to move, but failed. 
On the other hand
, moving to other planets will waste public
money
, and better to focus on solving problems on the
earth
. There are many problems on the
earth
that probably make
humans
exhausted to live, and the
government
must take action. The main problem in
this
world
is the uneven levels of clean air on the
Earth
. The
government
has to waste
money
by creating a realistic program to reduce pollution levels and it will improve the happiness level of the citizen.
For example
, In Jakarta, Indonesia they have
worst
Correct article usage
the worst
show examples
clean air, and the
government
trying to create many reforestation programs,
such
as planting
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tree
Fix the agreement mistake
trees
show examples
and using reusable tools. The
government
believes that it will improve
humans
Change noun form
humans'
human's
show examples
desire to live in the
world
.  In. conclusion,
while
others pursue the
government
to move from the
earth
, I believe staying on the
Earth
and improving live level on the
Earth
will bring more positive impact for
humans
.
Submitted by yannn on

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task achievement
To improve task response, consider providing more detailed examples and explanations. Expand on your ideas and ensure each point is thoroughly explained and supported.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, work on enhancing the flow of your essay. Use clear transitional phrases to link ideas within and between paragraphs effectively. This will make the essay easier to follow.
introduction conclusion present
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing both views and the writer's opinion effectively.
complete response
The essay addresses all parts of the question, discussing both views and providing the writer's opinion.
relevant specific examples
Main points are supported with relevant examples, such as the reforestation program in Jakarta.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unprecedented opportunities
  • extraterrestrial
  • satisfy human curiosity
  • practical benefits
  • inspiring goal
  • testament to human ambition
  • pursuit of knowledge
  • critics argue
  • imprudent
  • plague Earth
  • immediate attention
  • allocated for
  • environmental conservation
  • well-being
  • quality of life
  • balanced approach
  • advancements
  • benefits for humanity
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