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Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishment for each type of crime. Other, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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It is argued whether the punishments for any criminal act should be based on the motives behind it and the circumstances involved or should be pre-decided for each category.
While
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 defining punishment for each kind of
crime
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 seems logical from the aspect of a judiciary, I believe it is more important to stay flexible and look at the degree of the
crime
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 before deciding the punishment in order to be fair to the victim. On the one hand, it makes sense for the legislative authorities to assign punishments for each type of
crime
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. Without
this
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 bifurcation, things may look bizarre. It would give a hierarchical view to the public; minor thefts would get fined or a terminal jail,
whereas
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 terrorist activities like the one which happened on 9/11 would lead to direct encounters or life imprisonment.
On the other hand
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, looking at the degree of the act is extremely important. Consider a sexual assault
for instance
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. Within
this
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 category, there are heinous sub-categories which lead to grave mental and physical damage to the victims and their families. In
such
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 cases, it is only fair that the assaulters are subjected to forms of punishment worse than usual. The other way around is
also
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 true. If a minor theft was conducted by a teenager from a poor family out of starvation,
then
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 it should not be fined like other critical thefts, infact ways must be discovered to instil value among them and provide for resources.
For example
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, in 2014, an incident by the name of “Nirbhaya” became infamous globally because of the nature of the gang assault committed against a college student. People came out on the streets protesting and demanding maximum terms for the convicts, which ultimately led to a change in law for
such
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 crimes. In conclusion,
although
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 assigning the punishments as per the type of offence may look logical, I firmly believe it is only fair to the victims and their families that the situation, cause, and degree of the
crime
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 is looked into.

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples and references to real-world laws or cases to strengthen arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure consistent use of tenses and avoid small grammatical inaccuracies.
task achievement
Clarify some of the arguments further, for instance, explaining why a fixed punishment system may lead to better deterrence or why flexibility is necessary.
task achievement
The essay clearly addresses both views of the argument, offering a well-rounded discussion.
coherence cohesion
Strong introduction and conclusion, contributing to a coherent essay structure.
task achievement
The use of the 'Nirbhaya' case adds a significant real-world context to support the argument for flexible sentencing.
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