The best way for a country to prepare for the future is to invest more resource in its young age people. How true do you think of it ? What is the best way to invest resources?
The regeneration of a country always relies on the younger
generation
to continue and further
improve from
every aspect. Change preposition
in
This
essay will discuss whether it is true and the ways investment towards the next generation
could go about.
To start, most of the available working space is taken up by individuals younger than 35 years old, thus
, it is definitive that a country must rely on younger
Correct article usage
a younger
work power
. Correct your spelling
workforce
Furthermore
, as the population increases it will only add up to the youth outnumbering the elder at some point. Leading to the logical solution of passing down or investing the available resources for the youth to manage, which may lead to new ideas, new strategies, and new innovations that the previous generation
could not come up with.
An experienced figure is still very much needed to lead and teach the inexperienced individuals with
how things work. Whilst it may be important to invest the resources it is Change preposition
apply
also
important to pass down the knowledge, therefore
, things could be maintained the way they are and figure out methods that could optimize the current system. Consequently
, it would benefit them in finding new techniques and materials they could utilize to enhance their expertise and experience. For instance
, this
could be seen in Finland where they facilitate the country's development and regeneration in aspects like education, well-being, and youth empowerment programs.
To conclude
, Countries should have a lot of trust in empowering and investing their resources towards the younger generation
. It would need experienced individuals and patience due to
the slow and long process, but it could result in a reimbursment
for the following generations.Correct your spelling
reimbursement
Submitted by millionmiles.indonesia on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
content
While the essay provides a good overview, it should delve deeper into specific strategies or examples of investment in the youth, like education, job training, or health care services. Enhancing these areas can strengthen your argument.
coherence
The logical progression of ideas is strong, but occasionally ideas could be more explicitly linked or transitioned smoothly. For instance, elaborating on how specific programs in Finland link to broader economic benefits could provide stronger cohesion.
content
Incorporate a broader range of examples. The essay generally discusses Finland, but including examples from other countries could help illustrate global perspectives and prevent the essay from feeling limited to one view.
structure
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea with supporting evidence. The first body paragraph could be split for clarity, focusing separately on workforce demographics and resource management's impact on innovation.
conclusion
The conclusion nicely wraps up the essay but could be made stronger by summarizing the key points more explicitly to reinforce your argument.
structure
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion which effectively frames the discussion.
content
The essay recognizes the role of both experienced figures and youth in country development, showing a balanced perspective.
evidence
The use of Finland as an example provides concrete evidence to support your main points, enhancing credibility.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!