Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Health
of the citizens is crucial to any country’s government and devising ways to keep up or improve it is equally important. Add an article
The health
While
some say that increasing the number of sports
amenities is a must, others believe this
to be an ineffective solution and encourage for
other methods. Change preposition
apply
Although
building up such
facilities
can help to a certain extent, I believe the latter would be more beneficial because diet
is a crucially important facet of Add an article
the diet
health
and availability
of Correct article usage
the availability
sports
centres alone would not suffice.
On the one hand, it is understandable why some people would make a direct correlation of health
with facilities
. In cities, these days, it is very uncommon to find a playground or park to play around or go for a walk. This
might be concerning for parents as their children don’t have a place to play sports
like badminton or cricket in the evening and as a result
, might be forced to stay back at home, impacting health
. Correct pronoun usage
their health
For example
, in Nagpur, a small sports
-cum-playground complex for the public was opened up recently, resulting in some influx of visitors and promoting healthy
lifestyle to a certain extent.
Add an article
a healthy
On the other hand
, health
cannot be alone improved by exercises
. One of the primary factors contributing to good Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
health
is diet. No amount of workout or outdoor activities can ensure a healthy body untless
it is assisted with rich food consisting of protein, complex carbohydrates, fibre, and vitamins in sufficient proportions. Governments need to work on providing services to promote the culture of healthy eating through adverts or some programmes in local communities. Correct your spelling
unless
For example
, a gym-cum-park built in the outdoors of Mumbai in 2022, has been abandoned by the daily visitors due to
lack of motivation or time. Many such
parks or facilities
have infact
been built and now lying almost unused, Correct your spelling
in fact
due to
lack of discipline, motivation and other factors which goes
on to prove that other measures are more important.
In conclusion, it is important for the countries to devise methods in the domain of healthy food and Correct subject-verb agreement
go
keeping
up the motivation in raising the Wrong verb form
keep
health
index of citizens rather than just building the sports
facilities
.Submitted by man3meet4 on
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task achievement
Ensure all main points directly address the task, considering different perspectives on the effectiveness of sports facilities versus other health measures.
task achievement
Include more varied examples or data to support points, reinforcing your argument with evidence beyond individual anecdotes.
coherence cohesion
Maintain clear links between paragraphs to create a seamless flow of ideas, enhancing the essay's readability and logical progression.
coherence cohesion
Strong introduction and conclusion establishing a clear position on the topic, effectively framing the discussion.
coherence cohesion
Uses a logical structure that distinguishes between the two views and presents a personal opinion with supporting arguments.
task achievement
Includes relevant examples to illustrate points, offering concrete support for abstract ideas.