Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Use synonyms

Health

Add an article

The health

show examples

of the citizens is crucial to any country’s government and devising ways to keep up or improve it is equally important.

While

Linking Words

some say that increasing the number of

sports

Use synonyms

amenities is a must, others believe

this

Linking Words

to be an ineffective solution and encourage

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

other methods.

Although

Linking Words

building up

such

Linking Words

facilities

Use synonyms

can help to a certain extent, I believe the latter would be more beneficial because

diet

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the diet

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is a crucially important facet of

health

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and

availability

Correct article usage

the availability

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sports

Use synonyms

centres alone would not suffice. On the one hand, it is understandable why some people would make a direct correlation of

health

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with

facilities

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. In cities, these days, it is very uncommon to find a playground or park to play around or go for a walk.

This

Linking Words

might be concerning for parents as their children don’t have a place to play

sports

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like badminton or cricket in the evening and

as a result

Linking Words

, might be forced to stay back at home, impacting

Use synonyms

health

Correct pronoun usage

their health

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, in Nagpur, a small

sports

Use synonyms

-cum-playground complex for the public was opened up recently, resulting in some influx of visitors and promoting

healthy

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a healthy

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lifestyle to a certain extent.

On the other hand

Linking Words

health

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cannot be alone improved by

exercises

Fix the agreement mistake

exercise

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. One of the primary factors contributing to good

health

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is diet. No amount of workout or outdoor activities can ensure a healthy body

untless

Correct your spelling

unless

it is assisted with rich food consisting of protein, complex carbohydrates, fibre, and vitamins in sufficient proportions. Governments need to work on providing services to promote the culture of healthy eating through adverts or some programmes in local communities.

For example

Linking Words

, a gym-cum-park built in the outdoors of Mumbai in 2022, has been abandoned by the daily visitors

due to

Linking Words

lack of motivation or time. Many

such

Linking Words

parks or

facilities

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have

infact

Correct your spelling

in fact

been built and now lying almost unused,

due to

Linking Words

lack of discipline, motivation and other factors which

goes

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

on to prove that other measures are more important. In conclusion, it is important for the countries to devise methods in the domain of healthy food and

keeping

Wrong verb form

keep

show examples

up the motivation in raising the

health

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index of citizens rather than just building the

sports

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facilities

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man3meet4

Oct 9, 2024

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task achievement

Ensure all main points directly address the task, considering different perspectives on the effectiveness of sports facilities versus other health measures.

task achievement

Include more varied examples or data to support points, reinforcing your argument with evidence beyond individual anecdotes.

coherence cohesion

Maintain clear links between paragraphs to create a seamless flow of ideas, enhancing the essay's readability and logical progression.

coherence cohesion

Strong introduction and conclusion establishing a clear position on the topic, effectively framing the discussion.

coherence cohesion

Uses a logical structure that distinguishes between the two views and presents a personal opinion with supporting arguments.

task achievement

Includes relevant examples to illustrate points, offering concrete support for abstract ideas.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

362 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

public health
sports facilities
physical activity
exercise
chronic diseases
heart disease
obesity
inclusivity
participation
safe environment
social interaction
community engagement
comprehensive approach
health education programs
environmental factors
healthcare infrastructure
quality healthcare services
public health initiatives

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Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these vibes and give your own opinion.

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