Do you feel it is better for young people leaving school to study further at University or go straight into the workplace? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples for your knowledge and experience.
Nowadays, many teenagers and
youg
people think that they need to study at University or find a job. Why is Correct your spelling
young
this
happening? It may include many reasons and in this
essay, we will describe them with examples.
On the other hand
, we have reason for talents and wishes. Young people today don't want to study in school. Because all of them understand that in school they can not study and learn anything. For example
, older children are bullying younger ones and due to
this
, they want to leave the schools and faster to work somewhere and earn money. Many people think about their families and the future. The second one is talent. If children don't have any talent for studying, it would be better to go somewhere they can show themselves. And some humans want to be businessmen and have success.
On the other hand
, is a university. Many individuals hope to find their way in education and work in big companies, like their dream profession. University can give you the opportunity to achieve your dreams. For instance
, if you have any dream of being in government, it's necessary to graduate from a special college. In addition
, medicine can take you 5 years of undergraduate. No one will give you a job in the hospital if you don't have a special diploma.
In conclusion, I would say that these statements and decisions have both advantages and disadvantages. So anyone can choose to leave school and go to work or go to college.Submitted by bizhanalikhan6 on
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Task Response
Improve clarity and logical flow by clearly stating your position early in the essay and maintaining focus on whether going to university or entering the workforce is more beneficial.
Task Response
Provide more detailed and specific examples to support your points, such as precise instances of career paths and educational requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph follows a clear structure with topic sentences that link back to the main argument for improved cohesiveness.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to structure the response neatly.
Task Response
The writer discusses both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of different perspectives about education and work.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite