The only way to improve safety in our roads is to give stricter punishment for driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In order to improve safety

Change preposition

show examples

roads, the only way is said to be to implement more intense abuse for those people offending driving regulations. The author strongly disagrees with

this

statement, indicating inefficiency, educational advocacy and public support as strong evidence. Central to

this

issue is the productivity of greater punishment. It should be self-evident that human beings possess intrinsic deception,

in other words

, they would invent numerous approaches in order to get away with their crimes.

Therefore

, even with stricter laws, the natural behaviour of humankind would eliminate their efficiency in the long run. Take

for example

, Ho Chi Minh City in Viet Nam has implemented strong regulations regarding driving offences since 2000 but no decrease has been seen in the number of traffic congestion. One should

also

consider utilising education

in enhancing

Change preposition

to enhance

show examples

safety. It should be clear to all observers that educational programmes can have a profound impact on the thinking of teenagers who are, for the most part, the culprits of many collisions.

Therefore

this

method can operate effectively at the expense of fully minimized effort and time compared with stricter punishment. Reference for

this

case can be found in New Zealand where education is playing an indispensable role in regulating driving offences. Another point

that is

worth mentioning is the involvement of the public. Regular residents should be aware that their participation in propagating the need for safe travel can

also

be regarded as a crucial component.

Consequently

this

could partly ease the roam of drunk drivers on the roads, creating a better environment for traffic flow. The "Fighting For Life" campaign in Russia could serve as a prime example for

this

statement where ordinary citizens participate in spreading the idea of risk-free travelling, leading to an evident reduction in accidents.

Thus

, there is abundant evidence including ineffectiveness, educational support and individual advocacy proving stricter punishment is unnecessary.

Therefore

this

writer argues that retribution is not the only way to improve safety and there are way better approaches.

Submitted by [email protected] on Fri Jun 14 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Ensure all points are directly answering the question. While the essay covers important aspects, not all arguments clearly relate to the increase in punishment for driving offenses.

coherence cohesion

Consider making connections between paragraphs clearer. For instance, explicitly mention how each point contradicts the idea that stricter punishment is the 'only way' to improve road safety.

coherence cohesion

Avoid overcomplex sentences that might confuse the reader. Simple and direct sentences often convey ideas more effectively.

task achievement

The essay provides relevant and specific examples which bolster its arguments well, such as the cases in Ho Chi Minh City, New Zealand, and Russia.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, framing the discussion nicely and providing a strong start and finish.

coherence cohesion

Each main point is supported adequately, showing a well-rounded discussion on the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

333 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

deterrent
traffic violations
road infrastructure
public transportation
awareness campaigns
technological advancements
automatic braking systems
speed cameras
traffic monitoring
education and training programs
driving habits
balanced approach
strict enforcement
preventative measures
road safety

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities (for example, helping at home or work). Others believe that children should be free to enjoy their lives outside of school.
It is often said individuals ranging from toddlers to teenagers, everyone should contribute in the same way in household work while others say it would be an obstacle to their growth and hinders freedom to enjoyment.
4.5
band
Many people use social media everyday to get in touch with other people and obtain the news.Do you think the advantages of this way outweigh the disadvantages?
Technology, particularly social media, has advanced rapidly in recent years. It has aided people in swiftly contacting and connecting with others. Many individuals believe that this is the case. It's a beautiful thing, and social networks have made human existence more convenient, and progressive. However, some people believe that excessive usage of social media will lead to misuse. They will have a negative impact on human life. The second point of view, in my opinion, is more persuasive.
4
band
The world population has been increasing lately. One way to curb excessive growth in the third world countries is to restrict the number of children each couple can have to 1. Other people believe that empowerment of womanis a better way. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is often considered that the world population has been rising day by day. one way is to restrict excessive crowd in other countries by giving birth to one child by a couple. Whereas, few individuals think that women empowerment is the better way. In my, an inclined, couple should have a single baby. Thus, this essay will elaborate on both notions which further leads to a logical conclusion.
4.5
band
It is often said that crime is one of the main things that make the quality of life poorer. Crime in developed countries is one of the biggest problems in society. What are the causes of this problem and what measures can be taken to reduce it?
There is an issue among societies in developed country about the impact towards life quality as an effect of the high level in crime. This matter can be caused by the lack of intense relationship within family and it can be solved by the government and society colaboration: strict regulation and good social approach.
6.5
band
Some people say that individuals do no protect cannot make difference, others say that individuals can protect environment.Discuss both views and give your opinion.
A debatable argument is whether individuals do not safeguard make distinguishment or they are capable of doing that. The author of this essay holds a belief that human actions can make the environment change positively, despite those who argue against it.

The only way to improve safety in our roads is to give stricter punishment for driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities (for example, helping at home or work). Others believe that children should be free to enjoy their lives outside of school.

Many people use social media everyday to get in touch with other people and obtain the news.Do you think the advantages of this way outweigh the disadvantages?

The world population has been increasing lately. One way to curb excessive growth in the third world countries is to restrict the number of children each couple can have to 1. Other people believe that empowerment of womanis a better way. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is often said that crime is one of the main things that make the quality of life poorer. Crime in developed countries is one of the biggest problems in society. What are the causes of this problem and what measures can be taken to reduce it?

Some people say that individuals do no protect cannot make difference, others say that individuals can protect environment.Discuss both views and give your opinion.