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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The given pie charts provide data about the distribution of school funds in the UK over the period of 20 years from 1981 to 2001.

The given pie charts provide data about the distribution of school funds in the UK over the period of 20 years from 1981 to 2001.
#data #distribution #school #funds #uk #period #years
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The pie charts give information about the division facts of
school
Use synonyms
 costs in five categories
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 United Kingdom in two decades in the years 1981 to 2001.
Overall
Linking Words
 , it can be clearly seen that over the whole period of
20years
Correct your spelling
20 years
 was the most significant
school
Use synonyms
 expenditure
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
teachers
Change to a genitive case
teacher's
teachers'
show examples
 salaries .
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the least significant
school
Use synonyms
 spending to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
insurance.
Also
Linking Words
 ,
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it clearly shows that the resources and furniture have a levelling off at one decent.
Furthermore
Linking Words
 ,
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 employees were highest in all periods.
1981
Change preposition
In 1981
show examples
 ,
teachers
Change noun form
teachers'
teacher's
show examples
 salaries experienced a significant increase reached by 40% .
Follows next
Verb problem
Next
show examples
 spending by
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
workers
Change noun form
workers'
worker's
show examples
 fees accounted for 28% . Interestingly, resources
for example
Linking Words
 , books and furniture
for instance
Linking Words
, equipment remained the same
school
Use synonyms
 expenditure accounted for 15% percentage . Total spending
school
Use synonyms
 wages for workers in 1991 , instructors wages respectively was the highest in 2 decades in 1991 accounts for 50% .
Whereas
Linking Words
 ,
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 employees were decreased rate 22%. Resources like books
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 increased by 20% . Furniture like equipment ,
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
sharply
go
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
 down
reached to
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
 5 % .
Submitted by a.almakmari93 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words school with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 3 times.
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