all the present time, the population of some countries includes a realtively large number of young adults, compared with number of older peoples. do you think advantages of this outweight disadvantages

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In my point of view, I firmly believe that

this

Linking Words

situation has more advantages compared to the disadvantages. Young

adults

Use synonyms

are the pillars of the

country

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and the bright future that will help the

country

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develop in a better spotlight. And having young

adults

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will definitely guarantee a longer development for the

country

Use synonyms

Furthermore

Linking Words

, since young people have more physical superiority

such

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as strength and stamina than older

generations

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, they can do more work and bring more success to the growth of the

country

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Also

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, young

adults

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tend to be quick learners and will maintain the balance of technology developments and are bound to be not left out of the new trends. Even though

Remove the comma

apply

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older people are wiser and have more experience ,they will teach what they have learned and the experiences they’ve faced in life to the younger

generations

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and help the younger people to adapt to the many possibilities of the world

as well as

Linking Words

experience more. On top of that , the young

generations

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tended to be more creative and productive, which brings great results, like: inventing new technologies and pushing the

country

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to bloom

further

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. In conclusion , I came to a point that every younger

Use synonyms

adults

Change to a singular noun

adult

show examples

hold

Correct subject-verb agreement

holds

show examples

the power to shape the future for the better and bring forth a better life for the next generation

that is

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to come.

Moreover

Linking Words

, I strongly believe in the

creativeness

Replace the word

creativity

show examples

and benefits that young

adults

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bring to the

country

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’s greater good.

Also

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, there should be

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

harmony between younger and older

generations

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, to decrease the disadvantages and bring more beneficial possibilities for the

overall

Linking Words

benefits of both sides, is what I conclude.

pandatvin3Fri Oct 11 2024

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task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention specific industries or sectors where young adults contribute significantly.

task achievement

Clarify your argument further by discussing potential disadvantages more comprehensively to enhance depth.

coherence cohesion

Improve transitions between points to maintain a steady flow and seamless transitions for enhanced clarity.

task achievement

Clear and comprehensive ideas are presented, showcasing a strong understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a well-structured introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the main arguments effectively.

coherence cohesion

The main points are logically organized, providing a good overall flow to the response.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

276 words

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all the present time, the population of some countries includes a realtively large number of young adults, compared with number of older peoples. do you think advantages of this outweight disadvantages

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Water pollution has been an increasing problem over the last few decades. What are the causes and effects of water pollution?

In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?

First impressions are important. Some people think that doing well in interviews is the key to securing a good job. To what extent do you agree?

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Some people believe that governments should have access to people’s mobile phone call records and messages for safety reasons. Others believe that this information is private and should not be available without permission. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.