all the present time, the population of some countries includes a realtively large number of young adults, compared with number of older peoples. do you think advantages of this outweight disadvantages

#time #population #countries #adults #peoples #outweight

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In my point of view, I firmly believe that

this

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situation has more advantages compared to the disadvantages. Young

adults

Use synonyms

are the pillars of the

country

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and the bright future that will help the

country

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develop in a better spotlight. And having young

adults

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will definitely guarantee a longer development for the

country

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Furthermore

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, since young people have more physical superiority

such

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as strength and stamina than older

generations

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, they can do more work and bring more success to the growth of the

country

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Also

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, young

adults

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tend to be quick learners and will maintain the balance of technology developments and are bound to be not left out of the new trends. Even though

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

older people are wiser and have more experience ,they will teach what they have learned and the experiences they’ve faced in life to the younger

generations

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and help the younger people to adapt to the many possibilities of the world

as well as

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experience more. On top of that , the young

generations

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tended to be more creative and productive, which brings great results, like: inventing new technologies and pushing the

country

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to bloom

further

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. In conclusion , I came to a point that every younger

Use synonyms

adults

Change to a singular noun

adult

show examples

hold

Correct subject-verb agreement

holds

show examples

the power to shape the future for the better and bring forth a better life for the next generation

that is

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to come.

Moreover

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, I strongly believe in the

creativeness

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creativity

show examples

and benefits that young

adults

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bring to the

country

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’s greater good.

Also

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, there should be

Correct article usage

apply

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harmony between younger and older

generations

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, to decrease the disadvantages and bring more beneficial possibilities for the

overall

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benefits of both sides, is what I conclude.

Submitted by pandatvin3 on Fri Oct 11 2024

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task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention specific industries or sectors where young adults contribute significantly.

task achievement

Clarify your argument further by discussing potential disadvantages more comprehensively to enhance depth.

coherence cohesion

Improve transitions between points to maintain a steady flow and seamless transitions for enhanced clarity.

task achievement

Clear and comprehensive ideas are presented, showcasing a strong understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a well-structured introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the main arguments effectively.

coherence cohesion

The main points are logically organized, providing a good overall flow to the response.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

276 words

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all the present time, the population of some countries includes a realtively large number of young adults, compared with number of older peoples. do you think advantages of this outweight disadvantages

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetable. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

You recently bought a product online, but when it arrived, it was not as described. Write a letter to the customer service team. In your letter

Giving children and adolescents pocket money is common throughout the world. Do the advantages of this practice outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development

Computers and A.I technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?