all the present time, the population of some countries includes a realtively large number of young adults, compared with number of older peoples. do you think advantages of this outweight disadvantages
In my point of view, I firmly believe that
this
situation has more advantages compared to the disadvantages. Young adults
are the pillars of the country
and the bright future that will help the country
develop in a better spotlight. And having young adults
will definitely guarantee a longer development for the country
.
Furthermore
, since young people have more physical superiority such
as strength and stamina than older generations
, they can do more work and bring more success to the growth of the country
. Also
, young adults
tend to be quick learners and will maintain the balance of technology developments and are bound to be not left out of the new trends. Even though,
older people are wiser and have more experience ,they will teach what they have learned and the experiences they’ve faced in life to the younger Remove the comma
apply
generations
and help the younger people to adapt to the many possibilities of the world as well as
experience more. On top of that , the young generations
tended to be more creative and productive, which brings great results, like: inventing new technologies and pushing the country
to bloom further
.
In conclusion , I came to a point that every younger adults
Change to a singular noun
adult
hold
the power to shape the future for the better and bring forth a better life for the next generation Correct subject-verb agreement
holds
that is
to come. Moreover
, I strongly believe in the creativeness
and benefits that young Replace the word
creativity
adults
bring to the country
’s greater good. Also
, there should be a
harmony between younger and older Correct article usage
apply
generations
, to decrease the disadvantages and bring more beneficial possibilities for the overall
benefits of both sides, is what I conclude.Submitted by pandatvin3 on
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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention specific industries or sectors where young adults contribute significantly.
task achievement
Clarify your argument further by discussing potential disadvantages more comprehensively to enhance depth.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between points to maintain a steady flow and seamless transitions for enhanced clarity.
task achievement
Clear and comprehensive ideas are presented, showcasing a strong understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a well-structured introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the main arguments effectively.
coherence cohesion
The main points are logically organized, providing a good overall flow to the response.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion