Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children. Do you agree or disagree?

#computer #effects #children

It is sometimes argued that youngsters have become more attached to technology. I completely agree that using

computers

on a daily basis has more downsides for

children

than positive sides.

Firstly

Computers

have become an integral part of people's daily lives including

children

, which have many negative aspects. It becomes the main reason for

students

' distractions in

school

students

spend too much

time

on laptops playing games or chatting with friends, neglecting

school

homework and not participating in

school

activities. Teachers,

on the other hand

, suffer from

this

issue as they find it difficult to teach

students

any subject without making huge efforts.

For example

children

who play video games prove to have concentration problems more than other

students

and need more

time

to grasp the information given by teachers, which affects their

school

grades.

Secondly

Computers

have an impact on

children

's personalities. Youngsters are found to have personality issues. Spending a great deal of

time

computers

hinders them from interacting with their peers,

while

children

should spend more

time

with friends, in reality, they prefer to take

this

time

and spend it on virtual lives.

As a result

, it affects their personalities and become more introverted.

For instance

, parents need help from experts to fix their

children

's negative behaviours from using laptops every day. In conclusion, I do believe that the daily using of

computers

has many drawbacks than benefits for

children

's health and personalities.

Submitted by nidaa_hamed on Wed May 15 2024

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task achievement

The introduction sets the stage well, and the conclusion effectively reiterates the main points. However, try to better develop the main ideas with more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to increase clarity.

coherence cohesion

While the essay is logically structured, the paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences and smoother transitions between ideas. Try to use a wider range of cohesive devices for better flow.

task achievement

The essay effectively outlines the negative impacts of daily computer usage on children, such as distractions in school and personality issues.

coherence cohesion

Both the introduction and conclusion are present and provide a clear position and summary.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

237 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Screen time
Sedentary lifestyle
Physical inactivity
Cognitive development
Internet addiction
Cyberbullying
Inappropriate content
Digital literacy
Virtual learning environments
Parental controls
Moderation
Online safety
Tech-savvy
E-learning
Information technology
Eye strain
Social skills
Multitasking
Interactive education
Health repercussions

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Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children. Do you agree or disagree?

Word Count

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Some people believe that the government should provide financial assistance to artists (such as painters and musicians) to encourage the development of arts, while others argue that this is a waste of money that could be better spent elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that educating children altogether will benefit them. Others think intelligent children should be taught separately and given special courses. Discuss those two views.