In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard. what are the advantages and disadvantages?

Certain cultures confer on
children
the possibility of achieving anything with diligence.
This
belief comes with its own fair share of benefits and downturns. Believing that the sky is the limit motivates
children
to explore their potential skills and encourages perseverance among young citizens. The prejudice that the unknown is equal to danger has a significant impact on the guidance that parents and teachers provide for students.
Although
children
dream big, their out-of-the-box thinking habit is demotivated by society and parents' preconceptions of nuance and innovation.
As a result
,
instead
of setting high, valuable goals, these young souls choose mundane careers.
Therefore
, a culture within which
children
are reared to believe they have countless potential allows them to explore uncharted territories and unlock their potential abilities. They learn how to think outside the box and use imagination and creativity to bind the world to their will.
Moreover
, by inciting
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
,
children
learn to be persistent and resilient in order to achieve their goals.
However
,
this
way of thinking can cause unrealistic expectations and put unhealthy pressure on young
children
. By implementing that everything would be possible if
one
works hard,
only
Correct word choice
and only
show examples
one
aspect of achievement is considered. Luck,
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
, and
one
's status in society are combined to make the magic sauce of success. By eliminating each factor, the chance of making
one
's dream become a reality decreases dramatically, and its viability bottoms down.
However
, as all these factors haven't been introduced to individuals, they have unrealistic expectations of themselves. They believe that
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
comprises the whole recipe and try to make up for the luck and states portion by
further
emphasising diligence.
Additionally
, by insisting on the importance of
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
,
children
are forced to burn till the
last
mental fuel.
This
expectation can cause detrimental effects on individual's minds and increase the hazard of mental diseases. Depression and anxiety can result from the high pressure of constant work without respite. In conclusion,
while
hard work can be beneficial, unrealistic results expected to be brought by it can heighten the pressure on
children
's minds and highlight its disadvantages.
Submitted by ghazalmoosavi79 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider using slightly more specific examples or case studies to support your points, especially when discussing real-world implications of the cultural belief.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and transitions smoothly from one point to the next for improved clarity and flow.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction stating the topic and a conclusion that summarizes the main points effectively.
task achievement
Your ideas are clearly explained and demonstrate an understanding of the task, providing a balanced view of advantages and disadvantages.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Perseverance
  • Resilience
  • Self-esteem
  • Confidence
  • Goal-setting
  • Work ethic
  • Ambitious
  • Unrealistic expectations
  • Frustration
  • Inadequate
  • Overemphasis
  • Stress
  • Pressure
  • Mental health
  • Resource availability
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!