IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

People now have the freedom to work and live anywhere in the world due to the development of communication technology and transportation. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

The innovation of technology and the development of transportation opened opportunities to many individuals for the free movement of
work
Use synonyms
 and accommodation.
This
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 essay agrees that the advantages of
freedom
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 to
work
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 and live outweigh the disadvantages. Technological advancements and the development of transportation significantly impacted individuals’ lives. Many people can now travel abroad quickly and more comfortably, and digital advancements have given many people opportunities to
work
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 remotely. By working remotely, employees have the chance to
work
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while
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traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 or even living in different areas around the globe.
For example
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, many language teachers deliver online lessons to teach students from different countries.
In addition
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, communication and digital technologies have
also
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 fostered advancements in healthcare. During the COVID-19 pandemic, many international physicians and scientists communicated via computers and worked with artificial intelligence to find a solution without the need to travel.
Additionally
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, the
freedom
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 to
work
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 and travel wherever can enhance individuals’ social and economic development
as well as
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 improve mental health. Employees have the
freedom
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 to choose locations where they feel mentally stable, which can increase their productivity.
On the other hand
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,
freedom
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 to move and
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 could cause conflict between employers and employees
due to
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 discipline issues compared to traditional workplaces.
For instance
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, people who live across the globe but whose base is in a different time zone could be late for their shift or delay the assessment of their duty. In conclusion,
although
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 remote
work
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 may present logistical issues, the benefits of increased flexibility, improved mental health, and global collaboration outweigh the drawbacks. Governments and employers should support hybrid
work
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 models that balance the advantages of remote
freedom
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 with the structure of traditional workplaces.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports it with examples.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use topic sentences to introduce the main points of each paragraph.
task achievement
Provide more examples to strengthen your main ideas.
task achievement
Add a brief summary of the main points in the conclusion.
task achievement
The essay clearly states the main idea and opinion in the introduction.
task achievement
Relevant examples are given to support the main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • communication technology
  • transportation
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • freedom
  • work and live
  • development
  • increased job opportunities
  • flexibility
  • work-life balance
  • cultural exposure
  • diversity
  • economic growth
  • globalization
  • social isolation
  • loneliness
  • loss of community
  • sense of belonging
  • expensive cost of living
  • housing
  • strain on infrastructure
  • resources
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