Testing on animals is common practice for products such as cosmetics or drugs. Some people regard testing on animals as completely wrong and inhumane and they believe it should not be allowed. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

When a well-known company wants to introduce a new item to the market they have to be sure of the positive effect of their product. The more effective the item is, the higher its sales will be.
Additionally
, the inventors use
animals
such
as rats to conduct experiments to level up the quality.
While
some hold the view that
this
is an act of devils in
cosmetics
Add an article
the cosmetics
show examples
industry, I regard
this
method as a means to create an effective medicine.
To begin
with, these days thanks to the globalized business
world
, people have become more competitive in order to increase their income.
In addition
, if an industry wants to be famous and gain profit they have to provide consumers with the best versions of beauty things.
However
, a growing number of environmentalists point out the fact that people can invent makeup cosmetics without sacrificing
animals
.
Although
,
this
method is more expensive, more
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
individuals rather purchase from companies
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
are environmentally friendly.
Nevertheless
, the same mindset can be instructed for developing a medicine. As the
world
changes from how it used to be centuries ago, human needs
also
dramatically shift. Nowadays, many
Change preposition
of
show examples
the sicknesses which took lives are curable and it was a result of science
afford
Verb problem
apply
show examples
and tones of experiments on different beings
such
as people and
animals
. The phases involved in making an effective drug are divided into using
animals
and
then
for the
last
stage
Add a comma
stage,
show examples
a number of
humans
are used. If from the start
humans
are the main factor
then
it will take a lot of budget and time. The
COVID
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
pandemic is a good example to support
this
statement. when the covid spread throughout the
world
and quickly changed in different shapes all researchers worked together to build a vaccine which was quickly made by research conducted on
animals
. Basically,
humans
owe their lives to these tiny
animals
.
This
act is brutal but it is for the greater good. In conclusion, using
animals
as a method of developing a high-quality product whether is a drug item or makeup is commonly used in the
world
.
This
is a violent act done by
humans
in order to be successful in trading.
Nonetheless
, sometimes it is unnecessary to use
cure
Correct article usage
a cure
show examples
,
while
in some cases like coming up with a way to cure a sickness, it is the best choice.
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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, ensure that each paragraph clearly addresses the essay question and maintains a consistent stance throughout. While you presented arguments for and against animal testing, the connection to your position could be made clearer. Ensure all points clearly support your agreement or disagreement.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by using transitional phrases and linking sentences to better guide the reader through your arguments. For instance, explicitly state how each point connects to your overall thesis.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present, setting up the subject and summarizing the main points effectively.
task achievement
You have used relevant examples, like the COVID-19 pandemic, to illustrate your arguments, which adds depth to your discussion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Inhumane
  • Ethical considerations
  • Animal welfare
  • Alternative methods
  • In-vitro testing
  • Computer modeling
  • Human cells
  • Scientific limitations
  • Applicable results
  • Medical advancements
  • Scientific knowledge
  • Regulatory framework
  • Laws and regulations
  • Stricter enforcement
  • Economic impact
  • Cost implications
  • Investment in alternative methods
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